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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25450171">Bokuaka AUs and Fics</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilhoney/pseuds/lilhoney'>lilhoney</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Haikyuu Fics and AUs [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>AU, Angst, Anime, Coma AU, Domestic, Drama, Fluff, Fukurodani - Freeform, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Manga, Romance, Volleyball, Yakuza AU, fics, hospital au, soft</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 08:54:55</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>23,360</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25450171</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilhoney/pseuds/lilhoney</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of short AUs and fics featuring our favorite pretty setter, Akaashi Keiji, and hyperactive ace, Bokuto Koutarou.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Senpai/Kouhai</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Haikyuu Fics and AUs [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2028124</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>64</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Coma AU Pt. 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>hello! thanks for coming! please keep in mind that not all details will stay loyal to the manga/anime, but i will try my absolute best regardless! pt. 2 should be released sometime next week!<br/>i may also be making slight adjustments to this and revise as needed!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> Akaashi Keiji had been missing from school for two days. If he were anyone else, that would’ve been fine, but he hadn’t missed a day of school all year, and even if he did, he’d let Bokuto or his other teammates know. Bokuto was starting to get really worried. He stopped by his house both mornings to walk him to the train, as usual, but he never emerged. And Akaashi was never late for anything unless it was because of Bokuto. He called Akaashi at least seventy times last night, but he didn’t pick up or return a single call.</p>
<p> He waited outside of Akaashi’s classroom when the lunch bell rang, like he always did, while rapidly tapping a foot. It was the only way in that moment to release the electric, manic energy buzzing through his veins. <em>Maybe he showed up today. Maybe he’s just mad at me</em>, Bokuto thought. However, when he peered inside, Akaashi was nowhere in sight. Bo frowned to himself. <em>Where was Akaashi?</em> He approached these two students exiting the classroom. “‘Scuse Me,” They turned around, one of them cowering at the sight of him. It wasn’t that Bokuto had a bad reputation- quite the opposite, actually- but when he’d gone an entire day without seeing or talking to Akaashi, he looked a tad bit intense. “But do you guys know where Akaashi is?” <br/>The two exchanged wary glances, which only made Bokuto worry more. “You don’t know?” The boy on the right gave Bokuto a sympathetic look. <br/>“Don’t know... what?” Bokuto’s cheery facade began to fade. His voice grew more urgent. “What happened?” <br/>The guys noticeably flinched at his tone. “Well,” The one on the right continued. “a relative of his spoke to the principal today... they said that there’d been... an accident.” <br/>Bokuto stiffened. <em>Akaashi had been in an accident? </em>“...What?” <br/>“He’s not dead,” The student quickly added. “Just... indisposed.” <br/>Bokuto nodded wordlessly, his expression sullen. “...Thank you.” <br/>The boys scurried off, one of them looking over their shoulder before turning the corner. Bokuto could only stand there, staring at the linoleum at his feet. <em>Indisposed? What could that mean?</em></p>
<p>At practice after school that day, Bokuto couldn’t focus. Every spike he made was easily blocked or way off-course, but when his teammates suspected a tantrum as a result, he didn’t have one. He wouldn’t even say a word. He’d just slouch further and carry on.<br/>He couldn’t stop thinking about what could’ve possibly happened. <em>Was Akaashi paralyzed? Did he have to undergo surgery? What accident?</em> Eventually, after practice, once most of the members had gone home, Coach Yamiji found Bokuto with his knees curled up to his chin underneath a foldable table near the entrance of the gym. Yamiji gently put his hand on Bokuto’s shoulder. The coach could tell that Bokuto was extremely worried about Akaashi. In fact, no one else was able to play that day like they did when he <em>was</em> there, either. It seemed that everyone was nervous and on edge. Yamiji wasn’t supposed to tell any of the students anything about what happened to Akaashi, but he knew he couldn’t keep that information away from them, either. Especially not Bokuto. “He’s okay,” He told the boy. At those words, Bokuto turned his head slightly to face his coach. <br/>“He is?” Yamiji’s chest tightened at the hope in Bokuto’s voice. <br/>“Yes. Akaashi is... he’s only in a coma.” Bokuto pressed his lips together and looked away. <br/>“But he’ll wake up.” Yamiji said firmly. “He’s a fighter. You know that.” <br/>Bokuto rested his forehead against his knees and took a deep breath. He knew his coach was right, of course, but that didn’t make him feel much better. <br/>Yamiji hesitated. “I’m going to tell you where is, okay, Bokuto? But you can’t tell anyone else.” <br/>Bokuto stared at Yamiji. The latter sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “He’s in the hospital. The tall one Konoha took you to when you accidentally cut your hand trying to climb a fence, remember?” <br/>Bokuto thought for a moment, then nodded. “Yeah.” <br/>“Maybe you can visit him tomorrow. If you’d like.” <br/>“...Yeah.” <br/>Yamiji patted Bokuto’s back. “You should get home.” <br/>Reluctantly, the boy slid out from underneath the table and grabbed his bag. He left the gym with his mind still racing. Outside, Komi and Konoha waited for him. They exchanged glances at the sight of a dejected Bokuto. It wasn’t something anyone saw very often. Bokuto was the type of person who easily cheered up anyone who was down, but it was harder to cheer him himself up. At least, without the help of Akaashi. <br/><br/> When Bo caught sight of them, he faked a smile and waved. “Hey, hey, hey! You guys didn’t have to wait for me, y’know! Hey, do you think we could get some <em>yakiniku</em> before we get on the train? I’m starved!” <br/>Konoha grimaced. It was even worse than they thought.<br/>Komi clasped a hand on Bokuto’s shoulder. “Bokuto... it’s okay.” <br/>Bo stepped back in response, his cheeriness wavering. “What... Aw, c’mon, what’re you talking about?” <br/>The boys gave him a meaningful look. No words had to be said. Bokuto finally let himself slouch again, his hair deflating to match his mood. He would’ve been fine allowing himself to do that in front of his teammates- he did it all the time, after all- but this time was much more different. Everyone would imagine Bokuto to be the happy-go-lucky guy he was all the time- and he tried his best to be just that- but ultimately, he was human, too. <br/>“We’re worried about Akaashi too.” Konoha said simply. “But you heard Coach in there. He’s gonna be okay.” <br/>Bokuto gazed at his friends and nodded firmly. But he still felt the unshakable weight of dread in his stomach. </p>
<p> After school the next day, Coach Yamiji reluctantly ended practice early. They weren’t in much of a rush until the next competition, and it seemed that team morale couldn’t be boosted. Coach Yamiji wasn’t feeling very well himself, no matter how brave a face he slapped on for his boys.<br/>The worst part was that no one except Bokuto and Coach knew where Akaashi was. Komi and Konoha heard a few rumors that he had to drop out and move out of Japan suddenly for an unknown reason. Others said that he was kidnapped and held for ransom. And the worst rumor of all, one that nearly everyone refused to believe, was that Akaashi Keiji had actually passed away in that tragic accident. Yamiji decided that telling Bokuto was the right thing to do. Who knew how much more of a wreck he would’ve been if that gossip circulated back to him? Luckily, Bo stayed composed enough until Coach dismisses them. He silently gathered his things and headed straight for the train. </p>
<p> Bokuto wasn’t the best at directions. Sometimes Akaashi harped on him for not remembering the address of the school. But he had his own system. He found his way around the city and the school by random, specific landmarks (or, worst case scenario, his instincts) rather than by numbers or names. He didn’t much look like it, but he was observant when needed. He knew he was close to the hospital in question when he saw a bike rack with its paint chipped on only one side near a streetlight with a slightly cracked base. Bokuto turned the corner and suddenly it was right in front of him, just as he remembered. <br/>The tall hospital Konoha took him to when he cut his hand trying to climb a fence. Not for crime purposes, mind you, but just because he thought it’d be an effective shortcut. It wasn’t just Konoha, though. It was Komi, too, and Sarukui and... Akaashi. They all took him to that hospital specifically because one of Sarukui’s aunts worked there. Bokuto remembers being admitted and the rest of the boys having to leave after he got treated because it was getting late. But not Akaashi. He preferred to stay. <br/><br/> Bokuto stepped foot inside the lobby, the familiar smell of rubbing alcohol and air freshener hitting him. The very last time he was in that lobby, Akaashi was with him. <br/>“Ah, excuse me...” He approached the front desk with some difficulty. “I’m here to visit Akaashi Keiji?” <br/>The receptionist nodded and typed away on her computer. “Well, isn’t that nice? Are you family?” <br/>Bokuto paused for a moment. “In a sense.” <br/>“I see. Oh!” The woman turned to Bokuto with a smile. “He’s in room 322. You know, you’re actually his first visitor!” <br/>Bo bowed briefly and said thank you before catching the next elevator up. Then his fists clenched at the thought of no one coming to visit Akaashi before this. It had been almost three days, didn't Akaashi have any family that would come by? Like that relative that told the school about the incident in the first place? <br/>Well, Akaashi wasn’t one for spilling personal information. Now that Bokuto thought about it, he really didn’t know too much about Akaashi’s family at all. He never brought them up, but he did mention once that his parents were quite busy lately. Perhaps Akaashi was an only child as well? That only made Bokuto feel worse. The volleyball team was probably the only family Akaashi really had. </p>
<p> The elevator doors opened, and Bokuto walked down the sterile halls of the hospital, unsure of whether he was nervous or excited. On one hand, he was gonna be able to see Akaashi. On the other, Akaashi wasn’t going to be awake. Before he knew it, he found the room. Room 322. <br/>His grasped the cold metal handle, but couldn’t find the strength to turn it. What if he couldn’t handle what he found inside? What if Akaashi wasn’t going to wake up? Bokuto squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head. No. This wasn’t the time to be thinking like this. He had to be optimistic. He had to see Akaashi, whether he liked it or not. Yet he remained frozen outside the door. <br/><br/>“Captain!” </p>
<p> Bokuto turned around to find Washio, Sarukui, Komi, and Konoha standing behind him. His boys, his teammates. “...Guys?” <br/>Komi offered him a grin. “You didn’t think we were gonna let you do this alone, did you? Akaashi’s our friend, too.” <br/>Bokuto froze. He didn’t... accidentally tell them where Akaashi was, did he? If he did, he was in for the lecture of a lifetime from Yamiji. <br/>“We pestered Coach until he’s told us more about Akaashi’s situation.” Saru said proudly. “Then we saw you already on your way and decided to follow you to make sure you didn’t get lost.” <br/>“I’m not that bad at directions!” Bokuto retorted, that familiar fire rising back within him. Komi, Konoha, and Sarukui shared a laugh. <br/>“Akaashi would disagree.” Washio’s voice rumbled quietly but clearly, enough for the other boys to hear. Bokuto glanced at the doorknob. It shined in the hospital’s glaring hall lights, almost like it was taunting him. <br/>Meanwhile, Konoha slapped Washio on the back. “Dude, what did I tell you about bringing down the mood?” <br/>Washio was unfazed. And so was Bokuto, apparently. Silently, he took a deep breath. Maybe now, with his team behind him, he was ready to face whatever was on the other side of the door. He grabbed hold of the knob and turned it. <br/><br/> Akaashi Keiji laid perfectly still in a hospital bed before them, a mask over his nose and mouth for oxygen, fresh bandages wrapped around his head, and a few machines surrounding him. One made a steady beeping sound. They were keeping him alive. Bokuto could only stare at his <em>kouhai</em>. He didn’t know what he expected. But he certainly wasn’t ready for this. Then he felt a hand on his shoulder. Then another on his opposite one, and another two.</p>
<p> He had his team behind him. </p>
<p> There were no words that needed to be exchanged between the teammates. A million emotions exchanged between them at once. Bokuto knew he wasn’t alone. He simply grinned at his boys. They nodded firmly. <br/>They had his back. <br/>Bo sat in the chair next to Akaashi’s bed as the other boys walked around. They all examined their co-captain in silence. Komi grit his teeth and turned away. Konoha couldn’t help but do the same. Washio crossed his arms and looked on. Saru’s brows furrowed. It was difficult seeing Akaashi like this.<br/>So... helpless.</p>
<p> And Bokuto felt it, too. <br/><br/> After what seemed like hours, Komi, Konoha, Washio, and Saru all left individually, whether it be from their mothers calling them to tell them to come home or from simply not being able to stand being in the room anymore. Bokuto didn’t blame any of his friends for the latter. In truth, Bokuto wasn’t sure if he wanted to stay, either. But he decided to.</p>
<p> Because Akaashi once stayed for him, too. The least he could do was return the favor.</p>
<p> The last one to leave was Sarukui. He patted Bokuto on the back and said, “Don’t stay too late, alright, Captain?” </p>
<p> Bo smiled weakly at Saru. “Sure. See ya.” <br/>Sarukui looked over his shoulder, a flicker of worry flashing across his face, before leaving. </p>
<p> Bokuto rested his head in his hands. The last train was going to leave in a bit. But he couldn’t just leave Akaashi here, could he? He looked down at him, examining Akaashi’s dark eyelashes against his cheeks, the faint wrinkles forming in the crease of his brow, and the way he looked so small and... alone.<br/>Tentatively, Bokuto reached over and took Akaashi’s hand in his own. Even though Akaashi’s hand was terribly cold, Bokuto could still sense a hint of that familiar warmth in it. It eased his nerves a little. If only Akaashi was awake to gently squeeze Bokuto’s hand back. Bo let himself smile a little as he looked at how Akaashi’s fingers were just a little longer than his own. Skinnier, too. But Akaashi’s hand was still technically bigger. The feel of Akaashi’s hand in his made Bokuto think about how he used to constantly compare hand sizes with him last year. When they’d gotten more comfortable with each other back then, Bokuto gave him a high five and noticed the size difference in their hands. After that, he’d hold up his hand and say to Akaashi, “Look. Your hands are bigger than mine, see?” And everytime, Akaashi would lift his hand to meet Bokuto’s just so that Bo could complain that his <em>kouhai </em>had bigger hands than him. But in reality, that was just an excuse to semi-hold hands with Akaashi. He got to actually hold hands with Akaashi near the end of that school year, when Akaashi was about to be a second year and Bokuto was about to be a third year. Those were simpler, happier times. <br/>As Bokuto pressed a gentle kiss to the back of Akaashi’s hand, he felt long-awaited tears prick at his eyes. “Damn it,” he muttered as he used his free hand to wipe them away. He didn’t know if it was the uncertainty of Akaashi ever waking up again or the fact that he was looking back on their past, or the pent-up nerves building up within him- perhaps it was a strange combination of all three- but tears started falling from his eyes faster than he could wipe them away. “Damn it...” Bokuto repeated, taking a shaky breath, suddenly thankful that his teammates didn’t have to see him like this.<br/>He’d never cried much. He wasn’t the type to show his emotions in that way, and he was always the type to get back up, even if it meant with the help of other people. He was the one who inspired everyone else with his passion and enthusiasm. He’d never cried in front of his team, not once. Not when they’d massively been defeated in his second year, not when the third years left, not when he felt like the world was against him on that court. But this. Bokuto didn’t know if there was a way to emotionally prepare himself for this. This was something different entirely. <br/>In that moment, Bokuto Koutarou felt like he’d give anything, absolutely anything at all just to see Akaashi Keiji open his eyes once more. <br/>Bokuto didn’t know who or what he was pleading to. But in the quiet of the hospital room, he whispered to no one in particular, “Please. Please let him wake up.” </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Coma AU Pt. 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Bokuto does some self-reflection on life without Akaashi.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>hey! thanks for waiting! pls excuse any factual inaccuracies from the manga, im aiming to be at least somewhat original!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>For Bokuto, mere days passed as if they were years. Bokuto visited Akaashi everyday after school. Sometimes he'd have a friend or two to accompany him. Sometimes he'd tell Akaashi about his day and how practice went. He heard that people in comas sometimes still heard things being said to them.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> <br/></span>Other times, he just quietly held Akaashi's hand and stared, hoping for the slightest indication that Akaashi was going to wake up. He never found one, but decided to try and stay optimistic. It was all he could do. </p><p>Eventually, after a rough two weeks of adjustment, practice reverted back to a new normal. At least, as normal as it could be without Fukurodani's official setter and vice captain. Bokuto was able to hit tosses from a setter other than Akaashi, and hit them well enough, which was a start.</p><p> Then again, Bo was one of the top aces in Japan. It was <em>supposed</em> to be easy. <em>Then why did it feel so hard?</em> Why did Bokuto feel almost like he was betraying Akaashi by trusting Anahori to give him a good toss? He knew that Akaashi would never have blamed him for that sort of thing, especially not now. Yet it felt so inherently wrong.</p><p> Anahori Shuichi wasn't a bad setter, just to be clear. He was a first year, and still held plenty of promise to be a great setter in the future with a little more experience. He was trained by Akaashi and Coach Yamiji, after all. Yet Bokuto still longed for the familiar sound of Akaashi calling his name when giving him a toss. The sense of stability Bokuto felt when Akaashi was next to him. How Akaashi knew exactly how to set to his ace every damn time. And there was nothing he could do about it. Anahori Shuichi was not Akaashi Keiji. Bokuto couldn't hold him to that standard.</p><p> As Fukurodani played a practice match with their team divided across the court, Bokuto couldn't help but feel a little restless. He hadn't been practicing his spikes after team practices recently because he'd been heading straight to the hospital afterward, so he still had quite a bit of excess, unused energy. He seemed to buzz with anticipation from head to toe, and although his teammates saw this, they said nothing. They figured his extra stamina could help him practice harder and improve. Bokuto watched closely as the ball made its way back over the net to his side. He turned to the setter, and, out of habit, yelled for the ball. "Akaashi!"</p><p> Everyone froze all at once. Bokuto's golden eyes widened in realization as his teammates stared at him with pity. The ball hit the hardwood floor, having not been spiked. The sound of it was deafening as it echoed throughout the gym. For a moment, no one knew what to do. It was like Akaashi's name continued to hang heavy in the air. Komi averted his eyes to the floor. Konoha looked down and fiddled with his hands. Washio simply shook his head to himself. Bokuto could barely process it. Almost as if in a trance, he turned to Anahori and mumbled, "Sorry."</p><p> The first year shook his head, bewildered. "No, it's okay."</p><p> There wasn't much else to say besides that. Anahori awkwardly picked up the ball and looked to his upperclassmen, unsure of what to do next.</p><p> Yamiji stood up from his seat on the bench, finally coming to grips with himself. "Koutarou."</p><p> Bokuto's eyes drifted to his coach.</p><p> "Meet me outside. The rest of you, split up to do two on two matches instead." Coach Yamiji said simply as he made his way towards the doors. Bokuto hesitated for a moment first before dutifully following him.</p><p>Bokuto closed the door behind him as he rubbed the back of his neck. He wondered what his coach could want to say to him. Was he upset? Was he about to get chewed out for not completely focusing? He couldn't tell. Yamiji was facing the other way, his hands folded behind his back. Bokuto was the one to break the silence. "S-Sorry, Co-"</p><p>"Don't apologize." Coach Yamiji's voice was as cold as ice.</p><p> Bokuto stood up straight, hands at his side. "But-"</p><p>"No one blames you for what happened in there, son. We all know how... different it's been without Akaashi around."</p><p> Bokuto had nothing to say to that. It had been more than two weeks, and he still hadn't gotten completely used to his new reality.</p><p> Yamiji finally turned to face Bo, his face sullen. "Have you been visiting him?"</p><p>The boy slowly nodded.</p><p>"How often?"</p><p>"Uh..." Bokuto fiddled with the hem of his shirt. "Everyday. Sir."</p><p>Coach Yamiji nodded and looked away. He didn't seem very surprised. "I figured as much. I visited yesterday during school hours."</p><p>"You did?" Bokuto couldn't help but feel a little glad that his coach cared about Akaashi, too.</p><p>"Of course. And I talked to his doctor while I was there."</p><p>"What..." Bokuto swallowed hard, uncertain if he was ready for what news he might receive. "What did they say?"</p><p> Yamiji's eyebrows lowered over his eyes as he looked carefully at the teenage boy in front of him. "He's... stable. But when he'll wake up, no one knows." The coach never failed to be honest with his team. "Comas are difficult. He could wake up next week. He could wake up next month. We can't be sure."</p><p> Bokuto's eyes fixated on a crack in the floor and stayed there. An entire storm of emotions were brewing inside of him. Was he angry? Sad? Disappointed? Even he couldn't tell. Yamiji sighed and placed a hand on Bo's shoulder, making him flinch and return back to reality. "Well, we just have to wait and see. No matter when Akaashi wakes up, no matter in what state... we'll be there for him."</p><p> Bokuto bowed his head. "Yeah." He wanted to go to him. Now, more than ever, he wanted to be back in that hospital room, sitting next to possibly the one person he was closest to. He wanted to hold his <em>kouhai's</em> hand and tell him about how much he and the team missed him. But Bokuto had to admit he was tired, too. Of waiting and hoping that Akaashi will magically wake one day and be back at his side. His fists clenched at his sides. Yet he was powerless. On that court, he was able to exert his strength and dominance in various ways, whether it be through intense cut shots or spikes that go straight through the opposing team's block. Here, though... he never felt so weak.</p><p> Coach Yamiji firmly slapped Bokuto on the back, waking him up for the second time. "Go take a lap or a breather outside. I'll see you back in there."</p><p> Bokuto watched as his coach re-entered the gym with his shoulders squared and his eyes set. As Bo jogged a lap around the track, he couldn't help but realize that his coach said "<em>when Akaashi wakes up</em>."</p><p>After school that day, he took the train to the hospital, this time accompanied by Konoha. "Hey, have you... seen that new restaurant that's opening by the school?" Konoha wasn't very comfortable talking about serious topics, especially when it came to Bokuto.</p><p> As they took the hospital elevator, Bo looked up in thought. "Oh, yeah... they have... ramen, right?"</p><p> They stepped out into the hall and made their way to Akaashi's room. Bokuto had gone so many times that the exact route was almost embedded in his mind at that point. As they passed a nurses' station, one of them called out Bokuto's name to wave and say hello. The boy waved back, grinning. "They know you?" Konoha asked.</p><p>"Yeah." He offered no explanation. There was no need for one. Bokuto Koutarou was Akaashi Keiji's first and most consistent visitor.</p><p> As per tradition, Bokuto quietly opened Akaashi's room door and found him... still asleep. There was a point where the hospital felt he was safe enough to breathe on his own, so they removed the oxygen mask. Bokuto preferred it. He could see Akaashi's face much better. For a moment, he forgot Konoha was there, and he sat in his usual seat next to his <em>kouhai's</em> bed. Konoha couldn't stop staring at them, how the two just seemed to fit together. He couldn't help but worry, though, too.</p><p> Bokuto hadn't quite been himself since Akaashi was hospitalized. He seemed a little more... hollow. And although the Spring InterHigh was still far away, he wondered how Fukurodani's ace would manage without his setter. His usual one, anyway. "I should go." Konoha said.</p><p>Bokuto looked over his shoulder. "Eh? Already?"</p><p>"Yeah, I have, uh... homework. I just wanted to see if he was okay, that's all."</p><p>"Oh." Bokuto nodded. "Okay. See you."</p><p>"...see you." Konoha took one final glance at his captain and vice captain, then left.</p><p> As soon as the door shut, the silver-haired boy turned back to Akaashi and gently pushed a short lock of hair away from his face. "Hey, Keiji." Akaashi only let Bokuto call him that when they were alone. "Practice didn't go too good today. I guess I kinda messed up. But Coach wasn't too mad at me."</p><p>He looked to Akaashi as if he'd react.</p><p>He did not.</p><p> Bokuto took one of Akaashi's hands with both of his and sighed. "Well... Anahori's doing good. The whole team's trying to improve at setting, too. They're pretty good. But your tosses are still the best."</p><p> Bokuto fondly traced the lines of Akaashi's palm and the creases in his fingers. "You better wake up soon, okay? We all miss you a whole lot."</p><p>Suddenly, the door opened behind him. Bokuto abruptly stood up to face a woman who had Akaashi's eyes.</p><p>The woman blinked. She seemed just as surprised to see him as he did her. "Who are you?"</p><p> Bokuto looked at Akaashi, then at the woman at the door. "Are- Are you Ke- I mean, Akaashi's mom?"</p><p> The woman narrowed her dark blue eyes at him. "Yes? And let me ask again, who are you and why are you visiting my son?"</p><p>"Ah." Yeah, That definitely confirmed it. Bokuto stepped forward and held out her hand for her to shake. "I'm Bokuto Koutarou. I'm a... friend of Akaashi's and the captain of his-"</p><p>"Say no more." Akaashi's mother waved off both his hand and whatever else he was going to say before pulling up a chair at the other side of her son's bed and sitting down. Bokuto wondered she didn't ask him to leave. She seemed disinterested in him enough.</p><p> Like Akaashi, she must've been able to tell what he was thinking, though, because she said, "I know who you are. He used to talk about you. Sometimes."</p><p> Bokuto slowly sat in the seat he abandoned only seconds ago. She said it as if it was almost a bad thing. "Really? What'd he say?"</p><p>"That you were annoying, loud, and stubborn."</p><p> Bo smiled at that despite himself. Yeah, that sounded about right.</p><p>"But..." Akaashi's mother's expression softened for the first time, just a little, as she looked up to meet Bokuto's eyes. "He also said you were amazing. He seems to really look up to you."</p><p> The boy looked down, almost sheepish. She seemed to know all about him before he could even meet her. Usually, he'd be flattered, but he didn't think cold and aloof Akaashi would talk about him outside of school at all. "I didn't know that." Bokuto finally brought himself to say.</p><p> Mrs. Akaashi acknowledged him for a moment before turning her head to look at her son's face. She reached out to touch his cheek, but pulled away at the last second. Bokuto examined her carefully. Akaashi seemed to take after her, both physically and emotionally. She even seemed just as eternally tired. Bo noticed the dark circles under her eyes when she glanced back up at him again. "Did... did Keiji ever talk about me?"</p><p> Intimidation turned into anger as Bokuto realized that she didn't even visit him in his first few days in the hospital. That Bokuto and the Fukurodani volleyball team had to be the first one to come and see Akaashi, even though it had been days since the accident. "Why would he?" Bokuto muttered, trying to suppress the annoyance in his tone.</p><p> Mrs. Akaashi still flinched before regaining her composure. "Excuse me?"</p><p> Bokuto stood up. He wasn't one to pick fights, not ever. But here, he felt he had a right to. Here, he was already becoming unhinged. "You heard me. Why would Akaashi talk about you? Why would he, when you could barely manage to visit him when he got hurt?"</p><p> Akaashi's mother stood up to be a little lower than eye-level with him. "You better watch your tone, kid."</p><p> Bokuto's jaw clenched as he glared back at her. "This is your first time visiting him, isn't it?"</p><p>"You-" The fire in her eyes extinguished when she saw how upset Bokuto really was about this. Reluctantly, Mrs. Akaashi sat back down and pinched the bridge of her nose. Bokuto almost couldn't be upset with her when she looked so much like her son. "It is. I'll admit it."</p><p> Bo cocked a brow and folded his arms across his broad chest. He didn't know where she was going with this.</p><p>"You're a good friend, Bokuto."</p><p> He gingerly sat back down and stared carefully at Akaashi's mother. He said nothing.</p><p>"And you have a right to be upset." She folded her hands in her lap and started fiddling with her fingers, which were long like Akaashi's. "I'm upset with myself, too."</p><p> Bokuto blinked hard. This wasn't exactly where he thought the conversation was going just a minute ago.</p><p>"Keiji's father and I are hotel managers. We travel a lot, and we aren't home much. We got the call that he was admitted into the hospital, but we couldn't just up and go. See, there... were a few things we hadn't taken care of yet, so Keiji's father stayed and I went. I actually got here a few days ago." Akaashi's mother explained. She hesitated for a second before continuing. "I should've come and visit earlier, but I suppose I was just... afraid. Because of our jobs, we weren't there for Keiji very much. He had to grow up very fast."</p><p><em>Yeah</em>, Bokuto thought. <em>That seems like him.</em></p><p>"We weren't very good parents to him." She admitted with some difficulty. "And I think he resented us for it."</p><p>The silver-haired boy noticed how Mrs. Akaashi could barely bring herself to look at Akaashi himself.<br/><br/>“But... I'm glad he has friends like you, Bokuto."</p><p> Bo let go of a breath he didn't even know he was holding and let himself grin sheepishly. The tension in the air was finally dissolving. "Thank you."</p><p>Akaashi's mother's lips quirked upward briefly.</p><p> That evening, they shared a few stories, maybe even laughed once of twice. In that time, Bokuto found it in himself to forgive her, even if just a little. And Mei Akaashi finally got to understand the life and friends of her son, Keiji Akaashi.</p><p>As it got late, Mrs. Akaashi had to leave, and she waved goodbye to Bokuto with a small smile on her face. She looked at him as if to say, "take care of my son."</p><p>He nodded as if to say, "you got it."</p><p> As she closed the door behind her, Bo promptly turned to Akaashi and took his <em>kouhai's</em> hand once again. He didn't like goodbyes, so usually he just squeezed Akaashi's hand before leaving. It was harder to say goodbye to him this time around, though. Even after he held and squeezed Akaashi's hand in his twice, then three times. Perhaps it was how his mother referred to her son in the past tense so much. It wasn't supposed to be taken seriously. In fact, she must've done it on accident. However, it only made Bokuto more nervous for the future.</p><p>
  <em> What if there came a time where he did have to talk about Akaashi in the past tense? Would Bokuto be ready for it? Would he ever?</em>
</p><p> Bokuto absentmindedly ran a thumb across the inside of Akaashi's wrist, then examined how the moonlight shone across his face.</p><p> It brought him back again to that night when they were walking to the train station after leaving the hospital. Bokuto's hand was still throbbing underneath the bandages. He remembered how he complained about it, and how Akaashi sighed. Around the hundredth time he whines about it, Akaashi abruptly turned around and gently held Bo's injured hand in his own, his fingers curling over the edge of Bokuto's palm. He remembered how Akaashi didn't say a word as they kept walking. Bokuto remembered how warm Akaashi's hands used to be. How beautiful he looked that night as he looked over his shoulder at Bokuto and his metallic blue eyes caught the light from a distant street lamp just right.</p><p> No. He wasn't going to think that way. Like Coach Yamiji said, he was going to wake up. And no matter when, no matter in what condition, he was going to be there for him. They all were.</p><p>Weeks passed. Bokuto still managed to visit Akaashi everyday. But then the Spring InterHigh started approaching faster, and one day, practice went so late that Bokuto had to go home right after. He felt guilty about it for days.</p><p> Training camps went by. Fukurodani managed somewhat okay without their official setter, but the members couldn't help but tense up whenever someone from another team would ask where Akaashi was. Nekoma knew not to, though. Kuroo and Kenma visited Akaashi in the hospital, too.</p><p> At some point, Bokuto could only visit every weekend. He stayed optimistic for the future generally, but some days, a nurse would pass Akaashi's room and find a boy with black and white hair sitting in the seat next to the bed, his shoulders trembling.</p><p> Time passed. Bokuto had no choice but to move on, even if only in small increments at first. He started going home with the other third years again. They were able to talk about normal things again, like food and upcoming games. It gradually stopped feeling weird without Akaashi. Bo started smiling again when he performed a particularly good spike. He stopped the habit of waiting in front of Akaashi's house before school to walk him to the train station and of coming by his classroom to pick him up for lunch breaks, even though it hurt. Fukurodani started practicing regularly again, without any massive slip ups like before. Though everyone did have to try harder in order to fill in the gap Akaashi left behind- Anahori especially- the empty space the team once felt deeply became motivation to try harder. To try their best. To get better. To win. For him.</p><p>And they did, for a while. They managed their game versus Nekoma without Akaashi, and a few after that. Bokuto somehow put his "emo mode" on hold, to the relief of Coach Yamiji. He had to. Along with the rest of his team, he felt a certain duty, a responsibility to do Akaashi proud. To win for his sake. However, they still lost to Itachiyama Academy after the match with Nekoma, and also to Inubushi East High in the semi-finals. However, the latter was worse, because it pushed them out of the bracket. For good.</p><p> When the ball hit the floor for the last time, Fukurodani all froze in shock and denial.</p><p>
  <em> Inubushi East was gonna move onto the finals. Fukurodani was not.</em>
</p><p> Bokuto could only stand with his fists clenched as he watched the opposing team celebrate. It was his spike that got blocked. It was his spike that lost them the game. It was him who couldn't be enough. It was Bokuto who couldn't even win for Akaashi's sake.</p><p> Before he could break, though, he felt a heavy hand come down on his shoulder. He glanced over to see Konoha with his head held high, his jaw tight. Komi and Sarukui clasped a hand on Bokuto's other shoulder. They gave him a firm nod. The four didn't have to exchange a word. Bokuto knew exactly what they were telling him.</p><p>
  <em>"Get up."</em>
</p><p> He forced his lips into a grin as they steered him towards where Coach Yamiji was giving them a final word. The stoic man stood with his arms crossed as he looked at the faces of his boys, a lot of whom he knew wouldn't be returning. "You fought well today. Every one of you. Don't be disappointed that we didn't win." Anahori noticeably swallowed a lump in his throat. He probably blamed himself, too. "Be proud that you made it this far."</p><p> He didn't need to say "<em>without Akaashi</em>." It was implied. Even though the boys tried to put on a brave face as they shook hands with the other team and as they packed their things to go afterward, it didn't take a genius to look at each and every one of them and know that they were hurting. Even Washio blinked back tears as they made their way outside to their bus.<br/>Bokuto patted Anahori's back as the first-year sniffled. "Akaashi would be proud of you." He said quietly.</p><p>Anahori looked up in surprise through a tear-streaked face. "You... You think so?"</p><p>Bokuto weakly smiled at the boy. "I know so."</p><p>When the team got back, Bokuto went straight to the hospital. He found no one else in his <em>kouhai's</em> room, as preferred, and went straight to his usual seat after closing the door behind him. "Man," He sighed. "I guess we were no match for Inubushi East." Bo absentmindedly ran his finger along Akaashi's knuckles as he spoke. "Not without you, at least. But Anahori did really good. You should've seen him."</p><p> Akaashi offered no response. Bokuto watched his chest steadily rise and fall. It distracted him from how Akaashi had drastically lost weight in the months since he's been admitted. And how he still worried. "I miss you, Keiji." Bokuto whispered. It was more for himself than it was for Akaashi.</p><p> Bo couldn't help but feel guilty sometimes when Akaashi slipped his mind or when he pretended he was no longer bothered about Akaashi being in a coma. His chest tightened as he felt tears well up for the second time that day.</p><p> He didn't want to forget about Keiji, not even for a moment. He didn't want to stop caring.</p><p> <em>Most of all, he didn't want to believe that Akaashi Keiji would never call him an idiot or shoot him a rare smile or hold him in his arms again.</em></p><p> Bokuto felt so hollow right then. Gently, he rested his head on Akaashi's chest and let go of the tears he'd been battling all day. It had been months and Akaashi still showed no promise of waking. His blocked spike lost Fukurodani the game that they needed to win for Akaashi’s sake. He was going to graduate soon and Akaashi wouldn’t be there to see him off. Bokuto released a choked sob.</p><p> <em>Why couldn’t it have been me?</em> He thought. <em>Why did it have to be Keiji, of all people? Why was it him when he was one of the people who studied and practiced the hardest?</em></p><p> He let out every bit of sorrow and disappointment he’d been trying to keep at bay for so many weeks. He wanted to stay strong for his team, but it was hard. Bokuto felt things too, it wasn’t like he could always be the strong one. It wasn’t like his usual simpleminded optimism could just carry him through this. Especially not this. He released a shaky breath, trying desperately to calm down now, because if he didn’t, he didn’t know if he’d stop crying.</p><p> Suddenly, he felt Akaashi’s chest underneath him hitch. Bokuto blinked. No, it couldn’t be. Could it?</p><p>Bokuto looked up. “...Keiji?”</p><p> And it wasn’t. Akaashi wasn’t awake. His breathing has simply caught for a second. Bokuto laid his head on the edge of Akaashi’s bed and squeezed his eyes shut. “He’s going to wake up.” He uttered quietly. Hopefully. And it was enough for him to hold himself together, say goodbye, and depart with his chin held high.</p><p>Bokuto and the other third years graduated a few months later. They said goodbye to their underclassmen and to Coach Yamiji, then went their separate ways, most of them to apply for jobs. Bokuto kept training and playing volleyball. He still visited Akaashi when he had time. However, at certain point, there came days when he didn’t think about him all day until he laid in bed that night and dreamt of him.<br/>Of how Akaashi’s blue eyes lit up when he laughed, how Akaashi’s hand fit in his, and most of all, how much he missed him. Sometimes Bokuto would wake up with a smile, sometimes with tears streaming down his face.</p><p>Eventually, years passed, and Akaashi still hadn’t woken up.</p><p> In that time, Bokuto began to heal and become himself again. His life got back on track, and he learned to live without Akaashi again. He still thought of his kouhai sometimes, but it didn’t hurt as much anymore. He was able to focus on improving himself, both physically and mentally. In his early twenties, he made it onto the MSBY Black Jackals. He bonded with his new teammates and actually felt good about it.<br/>One day, when they were discussing their last Spring InterHigh while stretching, Sakusa asked, “Didn’t Fukurodani have another setter? Where was he?”</p><p> Hinata’s eyes widened as he looked between Bokuto and Sakusa. “Uh- maybe we could talk about something else? Sakusa, did you see how our team did? Why don’t you ask about that?”</p><p>“It’s okay, Hinata.” Bokuto said evenly. He didn’t seem as shaken as he could’ve been. “Our official setter got into a coma.”</p><p> It was probably one of the first times he’d admitted it out loud. And it felt... good. They were able to carry on the conversation, and Bokuto was able to tell them about how Akaashi was still in a coma and how he still visited sometimes. It didn’t feel as weird as he expected. Hinata, Sakusa, and Atsumu listened and asked questions as needed. Bokuto felt a strange tingling sensation in his stomach as he finally opened up to other people about the whole situation and how he felt. And that afternoon, he was able to leave practice with his heart feeling a little less heavy.</p><p>The next day at practice, Bokuto was on a roll. He excelled at everything, especially his spikes. The roll had to come to stop, though, when their coach yelled from the sidelines, “Bokuto! Your phone’s been ringing off the hook, remember silence it next time!”</p><p>“Sorry, Coach!” He replied as he jogged over to his duffel bag on the bench. He was going to silence it and immediately go back to spiking with Atsumu and the others, but then he read the caller ID. <em>Konoha</em>? He rarely ever called. Then he noticed the dozens of unread texts from him, Komi, and Sarukui. <em>What</em>? He picked up, his heart racing. He felt his coach’s eyes glare at the back of his head, but ignored it. “Hello?”</p><p>“Bokuto, you need to get to the hospital now.” Konoha sounded out of breath, frantic. “It’s Akaashi. He’s awake.”</p><p>Bokuto dropped everything and ran.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>im thinking of posting under this at least once a week, but i haven’t decided which day of the week quite yet. anyways, ig the next and final chapter of the coma AU will be out sometime next week, and then afterwards i'll start on another AU fic to add to this collection (none of the AU fics I write will be above 25000 words, and after i've built up enough short fics and AUs under this work, it’ll become possible to just skip around and read only the AUs you’re interested in)! im thinking maybe just a soft domestic AU or a Yakuza one.... hm...</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Coma AU Pt. 3 (End)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Bokuto is finally reunited with his love.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>sorry this is so late!!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> Bokuto burst into Akaashi's room, breathless. He couldn't believe his eyes.</p><p> There he was.<br/> Akaashi Keiji was awake.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> <br/></span></p><p> His lips were curved in a weary half-grin, his blue eyes looking bright as they reflected the afternoon sunlight from the window. Those same eyes found their way to Bokuto's own. For a simple moment, the two stared at one another in longing and disbelief from across the room. It was him, Bokuto realized. It was really Keiji, <em>his</em> Keiji. This wasn't a dream. This was real. Bokuto drew in a careful breath and approached slowly. "...Keiji?" </p><p>Konoha, Komi, and Sarukui, who were also in the room, looked at each other in confusion. <em>Since when did they call each other by their first names?</em></p><p>But Akaashi had no room to be embarrassed or mad. He fought back a smile as tears formed in his eyes. "Koutarou."</p><p>The sound of Akaashi's voice, though croaky and hoarse, was enough for Bokuto to throw his arms around Akaashi and finally hold him again. The black-haired boy squeezed back with a surprising strength as he rested his chin on Bokuto's shoulder. Bokuto's heart soared. <em>Finally</em>. After almost six years, they got to be together again.</p><p>"I missed you." He whispered shakily.</p><p>"I missed you too." Akaashi said into Bokuto's shirt.</p><p>Konoha, Komi, and Saru looked at their former captain and vice captain before silently leaving the room. They figured some privacy was probably in order. Konoha shot a sly grin over his shoulder before closing the door behind him. Not like Bokuto or Akaashi noticed.</p><p>Akaashi patted Bokuto's arm as his embrace tightened. "Um. Koutarou. I can't breathe."</p><p>"Ah! Sorry," Bokuto said sheepishly as he pulled away. He'd forgotten his own strength. And how little Akaashi probably had. He was only sitting half-up because there was pillows propping him up at his back and behind his head. Bokuto also couldn't help but notice that Akaashi had gotten much more gaunt. His skin had lost a bit of its previous color, too.</p><p> Yet he was still as beautiful as ever. "How... How long have you been awake?"</p><p>"I'm... not sure." Akaashi admitted. "It's still a little fuzzy. But... how long have I been asleep? You look... different. Not in a bad way, but..." Tentatively, he reached out a hand towards Bokuto's face, but couldn't stop trembling. Bokuto took Akaashi's hand and lifted it to his cheek. Akaashi's thumb delicately wiped away a tear Bokuto didn't even know was there.</p><p>"Keiji... It's been almost six years."</p><p>Akaashi's smile faded. "...What?"</p><p>Bokuto bit his lip. He never considered how to explain this to Akaashi whenever he woke up. He sat down on the edge of the bed and let go of Akaashi's hand. There wasn't really a good way to say it. "Th- They told me that six years ago, you... had an accident. You... were walking home. And... someone tried to rob you, and then... then they pushed you and you... hit your head on a bike rack."</p><p>Akaashi muttered something as he ran his fingers through his hair, which the nurses had recently trimmed back to its usual length. "I... it can't be. Six... years?"</p><p>Bokuto's brow creased as he looked at Akaashi. He'd barely ever seen him so agitated. He doubted it was good for him to worry about this when he had just woken up recently. "Yeah."</p><p>Akaashi took a deep, steady breath. Bokuto couldn't even imagine what he was feeling, but he could tell it wasn't good. "Six years..." Akaashi mumbled as he looked down at his pale hands. Bokuto followed his gaze and noticed how thin and shaky they'd gotten. He barely even knew. The MSBY Black Jackals mostly practiced in Osaka, and the hospital was located in Tokyo. He couldn't visit as often as he used to anymore. "I'm sorry." Bokuto whispered. What else could there be to say? After someone's suddenly lost six of the greatest years of their life forever, were there any comforting words to say?</p><p>Silently, tears streamed down the younger man's face, and then onto the sheets. Bokuto could only wrap his arms around Akaashi as he wept quietly into him. Bokuto barely knew how to react. Akaashi was always the nonchalant, non-emotional one. If he was crying, it meant he was truly, deeply hurt.</p><p>Akaashi breathed shakily.</p><p>Bokuto gently kissed the top of Akaashi's head. He already knew what he must’ve been thinking. </p><p>
  <em>This isn't fair.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Why me?</em>
</p><p>"I know."</p><p>"I don't... How do I..."</p><p>"Shh..." Bokuto pulled Akaashi closer. It was all he could do, really. He wasn't the best with words, but Akaashi always told him he had the best hugs. They were much more happy and carefree back then.<br/> The room darkened as the sun set over Tokyo and as the two simply held each other. Bokuto could feel Akaashi's sorrow as his own. When the latter choked back a sob, Bokuto had to use every bit of strength in him not to cry, too. He took a deep breath.</p><p>He couldn't just sit there and watch his beloved cry like this. "I don't know what's gonna happen." Bo began with some uncertainty. "And I don't know what to do. But... if you need me, I'll be here for you." He gently tilted Akaashi's chin up towards him. "As long as you need me. Every step of the way. I always will. Okay?"</p><p>Akaashi looked up at Bokuto, and the two boys stared at each other for a long time. Through the short time they'd known one another in high school, they'd given each other something special. Sometimes it was hope. Sometimes love. Sometimes even purpose. And in that moment, the two realized that.</p><p>Akaashi couldn't help but smile as he wiped away the tear streaks on his cheeks with the heels of his hands and looked into the golden eyes of the boy he'd learned to open up his heart to. Even though he knew right then that he'd never have his old life back, he knew that maybe with Bokuto, he could have some semblance of courage to begin again.</p><p>Bokuto grinned back as he looked into the steely blue eyes of the boy who never failed to lift him up when he was down. Even though he didn't know what to say or do, he knew that as long as he was there for Akaashi, that would have to be enough.</p><p>Akaashi leaned forward and planted a soft kiss on Bokuto's temple. Bokuto's face flushed. He wasn't used to Akaashi's kisses anymore. He certainly looked forward to readjusting to them, though. "Hey, what was that for?"</p><p>"I love you, Koutarou, you know that?"</p><p>Bokuto's playful facade faded away. He gazed at Akaashi with wide eyes. "Really?"</p><p>Akaashi had never heard his voice so soft.</p><p>"Yes." Akaashi blushed at the sudden realization of what he just said. He quickly looked away. "I... I mean, assuming you feel the same way. You don't have to-"</p><p>Bokuto interrupted him with a kiss on the lips. When he finally pulled away, he smiled even wider and proudly confessed, "I love you, too. I... was scared I'd never get to tell you."</p><p>Akaashi closed his eyes and contentedly leaned against his senpai. "I'm glad you did."</p><p>Bokuto leaned into him, too, careful not to press his whole weight against him. His heart felt full. "Me too, Keiji. Me too."</p><p> </p><p>Over the next few months, a few of Bokuto and Akaashi's friends came to visit, including the former members from Nekoma, Fukurodani, and Karasuno alike. Kenma and Kuroo even offered to pay some of Akaashi's hospital bill. Akaashi declined every time, but still appreciated the thought.</p><p>Akaashi finally got to talk to his parents again, too, who, although generally reserved and aloof like him, seemed to have glistening eyes every time they left his room. Akaashi started physical therapy and taking classes online to make up for the all the school he'd missed. Bokuto offered to help with it, but Kuroo told him that he'd be no help. Which he wasn't, but Akaashi still appreciated the company. Although sometimes the company fell asleep on his shoulder and drooled all over it sometimes.</p><p>Coach Yamiji visited a few months after Akaashi had woken up, when he'd received the news and gotten time out of his schedule to drop by. The older gentleman only smiled softly as he clasped a hand on Akaashi's shoulder. And in a shaky voice, he said, "Welcome back, son."</p><p> </p><p>Bokuto wouldn't shut up about Akaashi around his teammates. Now that he knew that Akaashi was alive and well, it was no longer uncomfortable to discuss him as all. To Sakusa and Atsumu's dismay. Not that they wished death upon Akaashi, but they just wished Bokuto would shut up about his pretty high school sweetheart and how well his recovery was going. Hinata didn't mind listening to Bokuto, though, since they were able to feed off each other's energy. The last time Bokuto went back to Tokyo to visit, he even took Hinata with him. Which only made the problem worse, because now Atsumu and Sakusa has to deal with not one, but <em>two</em> idiots talking endlessly about how wonderful the legendary Akaashi was. At that point, the rest of the Black Jackals just wanted to meet him. And soon, they would.</p><p>About a week before the MSBY Black Jackals were set to go against the Schweiden Adlers, Bokuto stopped by the hospital again to visit Akaashi, by himself this time. To Bokuto's utmost joy, Akaashi was getting much better. He was able to stand and walk on his own for medium periods of time, his cognitive function was mostly back to normal, and his skin was reverting back to a healthier glow. Everyone said it was a miracle that he emerged from such a long coma with so little repercussions. However, he still had a few weeks left until he was to be discharged. "I'm sorry I can't come and watch your game," Akaashi had said as he ran a hand through Bokuto's black and white spiky hair.</p><p>Bo took that hand and fondly pressed his lips against the back of it before looking back up at him with his usual smile on his face. "It's fine, really! Just make sure to watch me on TV, okay?"</p><p>"Did you really think for a second that I wouldn't?" Akaashi's tone was so serious that Bokuto had to pause for a second before chuckling and leaning against him. Akaashi allowed himself a small smile as Bokuto absentmindedly- but contentedly- ran his thumb along the ridges of his knuckles. They were sitting on the edge of Akaashi's bed. It was late.</p><p>Bokuto knew he was supposed to be heading to the <em>Shinkansen</em> to get back to Osaka, but he didn't want to leave. He knew Akaashi was fine, of course, but he still inevitably worried. When Akaashi fell into a coma, Bokuto was so scared, and he couldn’t help but remember how that fear felt, even now. He was scared that he'd never see Akaashi again. Scared that he'd never get to tell him he loved him. Scared that maybe- just maybe- all of this could've been avoided if only he'd walked Akaashi directly to his door that night.</p><p> Akaashi sensed that Bo was agitated and pressed a kiss on Bokuto's temple. It never failed to calm him down, even if just a little. "It's not your fault." Akaashi murmured. Bo had already expressed to him before how he felt. And every time, Akaashi reassured him. "If you were with me when it happened, it could've been you instead of me." Bokuto pulled away to look Akaashi in the eye.</p><p>"Why do you say that like it's a bad thing?"</p><p>"Isn't it?"</p><p>Bokuto shook his head vigorously. "Keiji, I wish everyday that it was me instead of you."</p><p>"...Why?"</p><p>Bokuto opened his mouth to respond, but promptly closed it when he realized he didn't know how to explain. As happy as he was that Akaashi was fine now, and as much as he learned as the years went on that he shouldn’t have such negative thoughts... He felt guilty and regretful almost all of the time, wishing things had gone differently. Wishing his Keiji didn't have to suffer like this. "I..."</p><p>Akaashi fixed him with a stern gaze, one Bokuto hadn't seen since high school. "Koutarou. I know you keep thinking about how you could've prevented what happened, and even how you could've put yourself in my place, but-" He lovingly cupped Bokuto's face with one hand, easing some of the tension in his broad shoulders. "-what happened, happened. We can't change that. Remember back when we lost that tournament during your second year?"</p><p>Bokuto thought for a moment, then slowly nodded.</p><p>"You were the one who picked yourself back up and told me to never to look back. You shouldn't, either."</p><p>Bokuto stared at Akaashi, dumbfounded. He couldn't believe he remembered that. He was simply quoting a manga he'd read. And yet, Akaashi found it so profound that he was able to use it against him, even now. Bokuto couldn't believe it. He laughed and hugged Akaashi tighter to him. "You're right. As usual, Akaashi."</p><p>"I know."</p><p>"I'm glad I have you."</p><p>Akaashi smiled fondly at his boyfriend. Even though said boyfriend was slowly cutting off Akaashi's blood circulation with his massive arms. "I'm glad I have you, too."</p><p>"Oh, speaking of," Bokuto pulled away, to Akaashi's relief. "have we been dating for one year or seven?"</p><p>To say that Bokuto's question was unprompted would be an understatement. Akaashi blinked. "Um. What?"</p><p>"You know, because we'd been dating for, like, more than half a year when the incident happened, and then it's been almost four months since you woke up, but does the six years in between count?"</p><p>Akaashi wished he could say something meaningful, but in reality, he didn't know what the answer was, either.</p><p>Eventually, after discussing the matter briefly (and deciding that they'd just give ambiguous answers if anyone ever asked how long they'd been together,) they had to say their goodbyes, which was obviously Bokuto and Akaashi's least favorite part. They barely said a word. When Bo said he had to go soon before the train left without him, Akaashi simply took Bokuto's face in his hands and kissed him deeply. Bokuto didn't expect it, but he gladly leaned into it and pulled his former setter even closer to him. Now he definitely didn't want to leave. He quickly melted into the arms of Akaashi. He missed this. He missed this so much, and no matter how they’d kissed since he woke up, Bokuto didn’t think he’d ever get enough. But before he could completely lose himself in Akaashi, Akaashi abruptly broke the kiss. "You should probably go now." Bokuto pouted, making Akaashi laugh a little. Akaashi had been laughing more now than he ever had before the incident, and Bokuto's stomach did flips when he heard it every time. "I know, I know." Akaashi touched his forehead to Bo's. "I don't want you to leave, either. But you have a train to catch."</p><p>"Hmph. Fine. But you'll still remember to watch my game, right?"</p><p>"I wouldn't miss it for anything." Akaashi left a parting kiss on Bokuto's temple. "You're my star, after all."</p><p> </p><p>Before anyone could fathom it, the day came. The MSBY Black Jackals were about to play the Schweiden Adlers. Even though Bokuto hadn't stepped out onto the court yet, he could still feel the restless energy of the crowd. He fed off of it and let it channel into his own chaotic energy. Hinata looked up at Bokuto with bright eyes. "You ready?"</p><p>Bokuto grinned. "Yeah." Because he knew the world was watching him. And he was going to give it a show.</p><p>He stepped out onto the court with his teammates, letting the bright overhead lights and the cheers of his fans overtake him. Oh, he was so, so ready. Bo tuned everything out just for a moment to let his mind focus, but that focus quickly broke at the loud voice of Hinata Shouyou.</p><p>"Hey, it's Akaashi! Akaashi, over here!" Hinata yelled and waved into the crowd.</p><p><em>What? Did he just say Akaashi? </em>Bokuto followed his gaze and was met with familiar gunmetal blue eyes. Akaashi was there in the front row, leaning against Tetsurou Kuroo for support and sheepishly waving back at Hinata. Akaashi had come to watch them. He came to watch them play. Bokuto felt an impossibly wide smile overtake his face as Akaashi caught his eye and grinned back. Kuroo and Kenma, meanwhile, looked vaguely smug on either side of him. <em>The bastards</em>, Bokuto thought. They probably made some deal with the doctor to let Akaashi out of the hospital for one day. For Bokuto's sake. It was enough to almost make Bokuto tear up. He definitely had to treat them to some barbecue later.<br/><br/> Atsumu elbowed him in the side. "Oi. Ditch the dopey grin, would you? We're about to start."</p><p>"Oh. Right." Bokuto forced the smile off his face and replaced it with his game-on one, but his eyes still shone bright as he felt the gaze of his best friends, along with the gaze of the man he was hopelessly and utterly in love with, follow him onto the court.</p><p><span class="Apple-converted-space"> Now... </span>Bokuto's world was watching. And he was going to be damned if he wasn't going to give him a show.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>phew, okay! next one is gonna be a soft domestic fic or a Yakuza AU, which should be released sometime this upcoming weekend (?) (no promises :P)<br/>anyways, stay safe my honeys! love y’all!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Soft Domestic (?) Fic</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Akaashi and Bokuto spend their days off together.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>ahaha.... hey guys...... it’s been........ a while</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Akaashi didn't think he'd ever quite get used to waking up next to Bokuto every morning. When the alarm went off, Bokuto groaned and scooted closer to Akaashi, pressing his chest against the other's back. "Five more minutes, Keiji..."</p><p>Akaashi rolled over to face his boyfriend. He liked how easily his name came out of Bokuto's mouth, like he'd been saying it his entire life. "...Fine. But only five," he told him as he pressed the snooze button. Little did Bokuto know, he actually started setting their alarm five minutes earlier than usual.</p><p>Bokuto sighed contentedly and went back to drooling on his pillow. Akaashi fought back a grin. Bo's frosted hair was fanned all over the place, but otherwise he seemed more at peace than ever. The calm before the storm. Bokuto popped open one gold-tinted eye and groggily draped an arm over Akaashi's waist, rubbing his thumb in a lazy circle on his back. "What do you want for breakfast?" Akaashi murmured, combing away a few stray strands of hair from Bo's face.</p><p>Bokuto went still, thinking. "Eggs...?"</p><p>Akaashi kissed the space in between Bokuto's eyebrows. "Sounds good." Bokuto grinned into his pillow. The two relaxed in each other's familiar touch as the warm morning sun shone in through the adjacent window. It was one of those very few days in which Bokuto didn't have practice and Akaashi didn't have work. The couple were able to simply be in each other's company, and even if it was only for a weekend, that quality time meant a lot to them. Before they knew it, the alarm went off again. Even though the both of them groaned simultaneously in response, Akaashi still got up and grabbed his glasses from the nightstand.</p><p>Bokuto yawned and sat up, taking a minute or two to come to his senses. He watched as Akaashi got dressed nearby, slipping on one of Bokuto's old t-shirts, which fit loosely around his shoulders. Akaashi couldn't help but feel a little smug that this perked Bokuto up a little more. "Oh... do you know where I put my shirt?"</p><p>Akaashi spotted Bokuto's shirt from the night before on the floor nearby. "Here." He kicked it up with his foot and threw it in Bo's general direction.</p><p>"Thanks," Bokuto chirped in his just-woke-up voice as he absentmindedly put it back on. Akaashi left to brush his teeth, trusting that eventually, Bokuto would be conscious enough to get ready on his own. He surprisingly managed just fine on the weekdays when Akaashi wasn't over, which Akaashi was proud of. It seemed like just yesterday, Fukurodani had to constantly micromanage Bokuto, and now here he was, a semi-functioning adult who was down to only the occasional tantrum. "Ah. Keiji," Bokuto appeared at the doorway of the bathroom. "do you remember where I put my running shoes?"</p><p>Emphasis on the “semi“ in semi-functioning adult.</p><p>Akaashi briefly took the toothbrush out of his mouth. "They should be next to the door."</p><p>"Ohh. Right."</p><p>A few minutes later, Bokuto emerged from the bedroom in some shorts and a track jacket for his morning run. "I'll be back in an hour." He called out as he walked past the kitchen, where Akaashi was boiling some water over the stove. Akaashi looked up briefly.</p><p>"Okay."</p><p>He waited for the sound of the door opening and closing, as usual, but it never came. <em>Is Koutarou having trouble with his laces again?</em> He thought. Akaashi looked up to see Bokuto still there, leaning against the counter and staring at him. His face flushed. "What?"</p><p>Bokuto shook his head to himself and chuckled. "Oh. Nothing."</p><p>"Nothing?"</p><p>Bokuto walked over behind Akaashi and wrapped his arms around the younger man’s waist, resting his chin on Akaashi's shoulder. Akaashi cocked a brow at him, suspicious. "What's this?"</p><p>Bokuto leaned into his boyfriend, chuckling. "It's nothing."</p><p>Akaashi narrowed his eyes at him. "What did you do?"</p><p>"Nothing!"</p><p>"Then what's going on, Koutarou?" Akaashi turned to face him, Bokuto's arms still looped around him. Akaashi's metallic blue eyes met Bokuto's bright gold ones for a silent moment. Bokuto bent down a little to rest his forehead against Akaashi's.</p><p>"It really is nothing, I promise." Bokuto said softly, smiling. "I just missed you, that's all."</p><p>The tension left Akaashi's shoulders. "I missed you, too."</p><p>Since Akaashi worked in Tokyo and Bokuto in Osaka, they couldn't be together like this all the time. The long distance sometimes made Akaashi anxious, but Bokuto seemed to be more sad about it than he was some days.</p><p>Akaashi planted a soft kiss on the corner of Bokuto's lips. "I know it's hard. But we can get through it."</p><p>Bokuto's gaze flicked up to meet Akaashi's.</p><p>"I love you." He cupped Bokuto's face in his hands.</p><p>Bokuto broke out into a smile. <em>There it is,</em> Akaashi thought. <em>There's that dorky smile</em>. "I love you, too, Keiji."</p><p>"I know." Akaashi leaned forward to kiss him again, his fingers wandering into the back of Bokuto's neck. Bokuto pushed Akaashi onto the counter behind him as Akaashi opened his mouth against his. Bokuto had gotten the habit of propping Akaashi up or against things, and now he wouldn't stop. Akaashi liked being pinned or lifted by Bokuto, but of course, he'd never admit that out loud. They kissed deeply for a time, bodies pressed against one another, until the sound of the kettle whistling on the stove interrupted them. Bokuto pouted as Akaashi hopped off and counter and brushed past him to turn off the heat. When he was done, Akaashi pressed a parting kiss on Bokuto's temple and said, "Alright, now get out of here. I'll make breakfast while you're gone and then we can spend time together, okay?"</p><p>Bokuto grinned, satisfied, and pecked Akaashi on the cheek before leaving. The front door opened, then softly groaned shut. Dutifully, Akaashi made his usual cup of morning coffee and sipped it while he gazed out the window. As of now, Bokuto lived in an apartment building in a relatively suburban area. Below him, Osaka was never too loud or too quiet. And that morning was awfully beautiful, too, the sky almost completely clear aside from the cumulus straggler here and there. Akaashi opened a window and let a cool breeze wash in while he rinsed his mug in the sink and got to work. Since he had about an hour until Bokuto got back, that meant he had plenty of time until he actually needed to cook, so he plopped himself on the couch and started reading a few manuscripts he'd brought along with him. Even though he wasn't technically working, being an editor was still a relentless job.<br/>He got through a decent amount of work and then glanced on the clock.</p><p>It was almost eight am. He stood up, stretched, and headed to the kitchen. Luckily, he already knew what to do. Akaashi started by warming up some leftover rice and miso soup. Then he chopped some cabbage and left that in a pot of boiling water on the stove to cook. He actually bought the cabbage on his way to Bokuto's because he knew he wasn't eating his veggies. After that, he cooked some eggs. Bokuto liked his eggs runny. Akaashi didn't. So he did his first, scrambling them before putting them in the pan with some green onions and pepper. When they were done, he cooked Bokuto's eggs next to some ham. By the time almost everything was done, Bokuto had come home. "Phew," he sighed as he took off his shoes at the door. This time, being careful that they were in plain sight for tomorrow. "Hey, that smells good!"</p><p>Akaashi drained the cabbage by the sink. "Thank you."</p><p>Bokuto leaned in for a welcome-home kiss, but Akaashi quickly dodged it. "No. Go shower first, you're all sweaty."</p><p>Bokuto smirked. "Well, you sure didn't mind that last night."</p><p>Akaashi rolled his eyes, but his face still turned a bright pink. He didn't think he'd ever get used to Bokuto's teasing, no matter how much he did it. "Just go shower."</p><p>Bokuto walked past, but not without slapping Akaashi's ass first, which only resulted in him blushing deeper and Bokuto laughing. Akaashi heard the shower water turn on. He shook his head to himself and continued preparing breakfast. But not until after a few seconds of reordering his thoughts and remembering what he was supposed to be doing. Ah. Right. Draining the cabbage. That's correct. Yes. But now Akaashi couldn't focus and it was all Bokuto's fault. Akaashi sighed and shook his head to himself. What was he going to do with him?</p><p>While they ate their breakfast, they talked about their week. Akaashi told Bokuto about the latest shounen editions he had looked through, making sure not to talk too long because he thought he'd bore him. But every single word Akaashi said, Bokuto stared with wide eyes like he was the most interesting thing in the world. That was the third and final thing Akaashi didn't think he'd ever get used to. The fact that Bokuto was genuinely interested in everything he had to say. It's not like Akaashi had never been paid attention to, but to get such a fixation from Bokuto was oddly satisfying. Almost unbelievable, to some degree. For one, Bokuto didn't have the highest attention span. And two, most people weren't used to how Akaashi talked- a few, like Coach Yamiji, considered him a bit of an oddball in that regard- but Bokuto seemed to understand and connect with him just fine. Akaashi didn't know how, but he was eternally grateful for it.</p><p>Bokuto also told Akaashi about his practices with the Black Jackals, his eyes lit up like fireworks against the night sky. Akaashi couldn't help but fall in love with him a little more every time he saw him so excited. "-and then I hit the spike just right and the ball kinda went <em>PWAH</em>, you know?"</p><p>"I know, Koutarou. Don't talk with your mouth full."<span class="Apple-converted-space"> Although he spoke in a mildly authoritative tone, Akaashi still couldn’t hide the fond smile on his face. </span></p><p>"Oh, right." Bokuto swallowed a bite of rice. "Hey, now that I think about it, I don't think 'Tsumu likes me all that much."</p><p>Akaashi wasn't fazed by the sudden change in subject. Bokuto sometimes just didn't know how to efficiently switch topics in conversation. It was okay, though. Akaashi was able to follow Bokuto's train of thought just fine, especially after all these years. They understood one another more than anyone else. "Why not?"</p><p>"Well, he's always complaining about how much I talk about you."</p><p>Akaashi almost dropped his chopsticks. "You... You talk about me to your teammates? Frequently?"</p><p>"Well, why wouldn't I?" Bokuto asked simply.</p><p>Akaashi didn't have an answer. Bokuto had a point, after all. They'd been dating for years and Bokuto obviously loved Akaashi a lot. And Bokuto loved something, about 95% of all his conversations were oriented to them. In Bokuto's case, it was meat, volleyball, and Akaashi. Plus Kuroo occasionally, but recently he'd been pretty busy with his collaboration with Kenma. Akaashi reminded himself to arrange a dinner with all four of them soon. "I don't know," he admitted. "but thank you for thinking about me."</p><p>Bokuto smiled through a mouthful of eggs. Even after so long, Akaashi was always needlessly formal. "I'm always thinking of you!"</p><p>Akaashi coughed and turned away. "That's not physically possible, Koutarou."</p><p>"Who says?"</p><p>"No one has to say, there's just no way you're thinking of me all the time."</p><p>"Well, I am!" Bokuto said proudly. "Wait, don't you think of me all the time, too?"</p><p>"I just told you that's physically impossible." Akaashi watched Bokuto's hair droop all the way down. "But that doesn't mean I don't try to think of you as much as I can. Thinking about you... it makes me happy."</p><p>Bokuto looked up at Akaashi, his eyes starry. "Yeah?"</p><p>"Of course."</p><p>"Aww, Keijiiiiiii, you like me? That must be so embarrassing for you." Bokuto laughed and crawled over to the other side of the <em>kotatsu</em> to lay his head on Akaashi's shoulder.</p><p>"We've been together for almost eight years now, Koutarou, don't do this to me." Akaashi muttered, but still used his free hand to run his fingers through Bokuto's still-damp hair. It was mostly down, since he just showered, and admittedly, Akaashi was one of the few people who preferred it that way. It made Bokuto look a little more mature than usual. <br/><br/> Akaashi briefly pressed his lips against Bokuto's forehead, to which the latter sighed contentedly and closed his eyes. Akaashi let himself lean on Bokuto, too, an unspoken bliss between them. Bokuto was rarely ever calm around anyone except Akaashi. Akaashi was the one who gave his soul peace. In a way, Bokuto did the same for him. Akaashi would always have insecurities and nerves that went haywire, but Bokuto always made him feel valued and validated. Anyone would think they're an odd couple at first- Akaashi thought so, too- but on quiet days like this, it was plain to see. They belonged together.</p><p>After a moment, Akaashi glanced at Bokuto's bowl. "Don't think that cuddling with me will get you out of eating your cabbage."</p><p>A bead of sweat formed on Bokuto's brow. "Uhhh..."</p><p>"Eat your vegetables, Koutarou."</p><p>Bokuto whined but complied anyways, knowing what Akaashi's wrath would look like after his 257th attempt to avoid eating his veggies. After the two finished their breakfast, they placed their dishes in the sink for later and watched some television.</p><p>Akaashi sat upright while Bokuto rested his head in his lap. While a wacky commercial played onscreen, Akaashi fondly combed his hand through Bokuto's hair, earning him a faint grin from his boyfriend. Akaashi had picked up the habit in his second year of high school, when he and Bokuto started getting much closer. And the habit only carried on when Akaashi noticed how much Bokuto likes it. Slowly, as the hour passed, Bokuto's eyes fluttered shut and Akaashi was left to stare at his long, silver eyelashes. His strong jaw. His peaceful expression. When he'd first met Bokuto, he never thought he could look so calm. Now, after almost a decade of knowing him, he knew that he could indeed slow down for a bit, especially when Akaashi was around to soothe him. Akaashi continued to touch Bokuto's hair, which wasn't nearly as soft as Akaashi's, but smoother. As he did so, he leaned back and closed his eyes, too. Feeling safe and loved with his dear Bo. </p><p>The two went out to a restaurant near Bokuto's apartment for dinner. As the two walked home later that night, hand in hand, Akaashi's heart felt full. They shared a few stories and laughed together. Bokuto and Akaashi were happy.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> Then again, they rarely <em>weren’t</em> like that when they were around one another.</span></p><p>Even later that night, when Akaashi laid on Bokuto's chest, he realized that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with Bokuto.</p><p>It wasn't a massive, life-altering revelation, but rather something that felt obvious the entire time.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> But it was only something Akaashi realized when he found his heart full at the end of a day with him. </span></p><p>Akaashi wanted to wake up to Bokuto's drowsy sleeping face every morning.</p><p>He wanted to hold Bokuto's hand like it was second nature.</p><p>He wanted to drink coffee and read manuscripts while Bokuto leaned on his shoulder and placed a gentle kiss on his cheek.</p><p>He wanted to play with Bokuto's hair and laugh and smile with him just a little longer.</p><p>Akaashi looked up at Bokuto, who watched him with intent golden eyes before wrapping him in his strong arms and pressing their foreheads together. No words needed to be said.</p><p>This.</p><p>Akaashi wanted happiness and security like this forever. He wanted to love Bokuto Koutarou for the rest of his life.</p><p>"Koutarou?" Akaashi whispered softly against his lover's embrace.</p><p>"Mm?" Bokuto hummed as he buried his face into Akaashi's hair.</p><p>"Will you marry me?"</p><p> Bokuto abruptly pulled away to look Akaashi in the eye, his own face already lit up. "Wait, really?"</p><p> Akaashi's face flushed. But he didn’t back down. "Yes, really."</p><p>"Aw, Keiji..." Bokuto kissed Akaashi on the forehead, pulling him close again. "Of course I will. But no buying me a ring." Bokuto said firmly. "I wanna buy you one first, okay?"</p><p>Akaashi smiled, fully and truly as he leaned into Bo. "Okay."</p><p>Bokuto grinned fondly at the beautiful young man before him. "I love you, Keiji."</p><p>"You told me that already." Akaashi muttered as he held Bokuto's face in one hand. His expression softened. "But I love you, too. Koutarou."</p><p>Bokuto smiled, satisfied, and nuzzled himself against Akaashi as the tension left his body. Akaashi felt his heart beat fast, but in a good way as Bokuto held him. For the first time in a while, Akaashi fell asleep easily, knowing that the man he loved most wanted to spend the rest of his life with him, too.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>yeah sorry i didn’t publish this, like, a month ago when i said i would i had a ton of trouble in the process of writing it :(( but anyways, i hoped you enjoyed this endlessly fluffy fic! the next AU i write about will be a multi-part yakuza AU that won’t at all be related to the previous two.<br/>stay safe out there, everyone!<br/>love y’all, and i will see you sometime next month(?)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Gunmetal Blue (Yakuza AU Pt. 1)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>“Akaashi can handle himself, y’know.”<br/>"...yeah." Of course Bokuto knew. He'd known him the longest out of everyone in the clan, and had obviously been close to him since day one.<br/>But if he really believed Akaashi would be okay, why did he feel so much more protective over Akaashi then anyone else?</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>sorry I’ve been inactive for so long! hope you’ll enjoy this chapter! it’s not much, but it sets the groundwork for the rest of the yakuza fic!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It had been almost an hour since Akaashi disappeared behind those doors, and Bokuto was getting a little antsy. Him, Kenma, Komi, and Konoha waited outside the decrypt warehouse. Bokuto stared off into the calm sea beyond the docks while knowing Akaashi was interrogating a spy they'd found within their ranks inside.</p><p>Bokuto knew he'd be fine. Besides, he'd sent Kuroo in too, just in case things got too physical. He wasn't their second lieutenant for nothing, after all. But Bokuto knew he could never be too careful with these things.</p><p>Especially since he knew Akaashi could sometimes get a little... unhinged.</p><p>And especially since Akaashi nearly got killed a few months ago.</p><p>Konoha glanced at his boss through the smoke of a rapidly shortening cigarette and sighed, shaking his head slightly as he gazed out at the sea glittering in moonlight just beyond the docks. "Akaashi can handle himself, y'know."</p><p>"...yeah." Of course Bo knew. He should've known it better than anyone else, after all. He'd known him the longest out of everyone in the clan, and had obviously been close to him since day one.</p><p>But if he really believed Akaashi would be okay, why was the soft crash of waves in the distance the only thing keeping him rooted?</p><p>Why did he feel so much more protective over Akaashi then anyone else?</p><p>Konoha, one the clan's <em>komon</em>, cocked a dark blond brow in response. "You sure? Because you still look kinda constipated, dude."</p><p>Komi hid a snicker behind his hand and even Kenma, who was always doing something or other on his phone, looked up briefly to smirk at Konoha in agreement.</p><p>Bokuto huffed. "That's no way to treat your boss! I could have you kicked out of the clan, you know?"</p><p>The three other men didn't flinch at all when threatened. If anything, they looked exasperated. Always the drama queen, Bokuto was. Komi shrugged and picked at some dirt under his fingernails. "You're still the same guy we went to high school with all those years ago, Bo. We know you'd never do that to us."</p><p>Bokuto mumbled under his breath and pulled his coat tighter around himself, a way of admitting defeat. They were right. He loved them all too much to even think about cutting them out of his life. Maybe the former <em>oyabun</em> was right about him being too soft on his subordinates.</p><p>Finally, the entrance to the warehouse slid open, just slightly. Bokuto eagerly pushed himself off the wall and the other three did the same. Kuroo had opened the door to reveal a worn-out looking Akaashi Keiji wiping blood off his hands with a now-stained handkerchief. Bokuto cleared his throat, making his tone all-business and trying in vain not to seem too relieved. Akaashi would probably hate that. "Well?"</p><p>Kuroo furtively glanced back inside. "...Akaashi got him to talk."</p><p>"The spy was from Sakusa's clan." Akaashi offered, his voice even and unwavering as always. "I think they might be trying to infiltrate our supply chain. Or at the very least, gather information on it."</p><p>"Ah. I see..." Bokuto couldn't stop looking at the blood spattered across Akaashi's cheek and the crimson stains in his rolled-up sleeves. "Um. That's not... your blood, is it?"</p><p>Akaashi paused, the once-white handkerchief flowing in the gentle breeze as it hung between his fingers. It obviously wasn't, but it's not like Akaashi was going to retort with that. Maybe before the incident he'd happily reply with an off-handed sarcastic comment, but not anymore. "No. I'm fine, Koutarou."</p><p>He definitely wasn't. Luckily, Bokuto knew no one else could tell.</p><p>He nodded and looked away a little too quickly. "Yeah. I knew you'd be. Just... making sure."</p><p>Kuroo glanced between the two of them, then back inside, like he didn't want to keep his eyes off of the apparent spy. Or what's left of him, at least. Bokuto still didn't know how the alleged spy looked right about now, but judging by how much blood was soaked into Akaashi's clothes, he'd be surprised if the guy was even alive anymore. He and Kuroo exchanged glances, at least a few hundred words traded between the two in less than a second. The latter nodded and looked to the other three men, who'd been watching the entire interaction. "Kenma. Konoha. Komi. Help me clean up, yeah?"</p><p>The three squeezed past Kuroo's shoulder with little to no complaint, except for Kenma, who made sure to briefly voice his annoyance with having to pause his game to Kuroo. To be fair, Kenma was in a position high-ranked enough to where he barely ever had to do grunt work. And he never had to do field work in his department, anyway.</p><p>However, he reluctantly complied, knowing now probably wasn't the time to be lazy. Kuroo chuckled wholeheartedly and reminded Kenma to put his gloves back on. They couldn't leave too many traces. Everyone knew how much of a secret the events of that night had to be kept. For now, none of the other clan members could know about the situation until they definitely knew more.</p><p>Also, it was cold, and Kuroo knew he'd be the one taking care of Kenma if he got sick.</p><p>Bokuto met the gaze of his <em>shategashira</em>. "Alright. Take care of things here, yeah?" He peered over at Akaashi, who continued to absentmindedly run his damp handkerchief over his knuckles, which were still stained a deep red. "...I think I'm gonna head home. Maybe help Akaashi get cleaned up."</p><p>Kuroo nodded, his dark eyes unusually sullen tonight. Bokuto reminded himself that maybe he should give Kuroo a vacation one of these days. "'Kay. You two make sure to get some rest."</p><p>"Yeah, man. You too. 'Night, Kuroo."</p><p>"G'night, 'boss.'"</p><p>As soon as the massive metal sliding door squealed shut, Bokuto was once again left with the steady sound of the ocean against the creaking wood of the fishing docks nearby, the fleeting smell of cigarette smoke, the hollow light of the moon against the warehouse district's smooth tin roofs, and... Akaashi Keiji, who had barely even so much as breathed since coming outside. Bokuto didn't know whether to feel relieved that Akaashi wasn't hurt or cautious that maybe Akaashi had done something he regretted. To tell the truth, none of the young men had been very well built for yakuza work.</p><p>Either way, Bokuto didn't like how Akaashi looked so... blank just now. As in, actually. Only Bo knew the difference between Akaashi's usual nonchalance and... whatever this was.</p><p>Bokuto turned and found his second-in-command already heading up the stairs against the concrete cliff, which led back up to street-level, where their driver was waiting.</p><p>Ah. So Akaashi wasn't in a talking mood. Bo figured as much, but still pouted as he followed behind by at least twenty steps.</p><p>Things between them hadn't been the same since the incident. Bokuto still couldn't sleep without replaying the events of that night.</p><p>The image of Akaashi clutching at the bullet wound at his side, the sound of shuddered breaths through tightly clenched teeth as he desperately tried to bite back the pain. That's the one that forever stuck with him the most. Bokuto still couldn't tell what he was felt at that moment. Fear? Anger? Desperation? All he knew was that he was lucky that his body knew exactly what to do, geared off only solid instinct. He couldn't exactly remember gunning down their opponents or running to catch Akaashi before he fell, but he could remember the dark blue gleam fading from Akaashi's eyes as blood continued to seep through his shirt and over his fingers. Bokuto could remember hearing himself fervently telling Akaashi to hold on for just a little longer, the panic in his voice rising as Akaashi helplessly looked up at him.</p><p>Most of all, he remembered Akaashi's breaths starting to shallow and the way his heart dropped when the younger man uttered "Koutarou" like it'd be the last thing he ever said.</p><p>Bokuto couldn't forget any of it. How could he? Even after that night, after countless other nights of sleeping beside Akaashi's hospital bed and of swinging by his apartment to check on him after he was discharged, Bokuto still felt a heavy guilt in the pit of his stomach, believing that none of this would've happened if he'd just been quicker. Maybe if he'd been more careful or observant, Akaashi wouldn't have gotten hurt. Maybe Bokuto wouldn't have almost lost him that night. Maybe it even could've been him instead. Bokuto shook his head lightly as he combed his hair back with his fingers. He was never the type to focus on the past before, and he wasn't sure why he was doing it now.</p><p>Even as Bo settled in the leather seat next to Akaashi in the limousine, he couldn't help but glance over at the darker-haired gentleman, as if checking up on him again.</p><p>"Where to?" Their driver asked, his eyes meeting theirs in the rearview mirror.</p><p>Before Bokuto could answer, Akaashi turned his head to his senior and questioned, "Do you mind if I stay at yours tonight?"</p><p>Bokuto was caught slightly off-guard. This was only the fourth or so time Akaashi had spoken to him the entire evening. Maybe only the fiftieth in the months since he got injured.</p><p>But Bokuto recovered quickly. He turned to the driver and vocalized the location of his house and nodded to Akaashi as an answer. The latter briefly acknowledged this and went back to using his handkerchief to dig at the blood under his fingernails.</p><p>As they pulled away from the warehouse and fishing district, Bokuto stared out the window at the passing greenery, deep in thought. He wondered if maybe Akaashi resented him for not being able to save him that night. However, that was just... so out of depth for Akaashi. The younger man had trusted Bokuto ever since they'd met in his first year of high school and joined the lower ranks of the yakuza. They'd been the best of friends for only a little more than a decade now, and Bokuto knew Akaashi would never blame him for something like that.</p><p><em>Then why isn't he talking to me anymore?</em> Bokuto thought. They used to be so close, even after Bo took over as the oyabun of the clan two years ago. But now... he gazed upon Akaashi- his junior, his former teammate, his current wakagashira- who stared out the car window at nothing in particular, his usually calculating stare completely unfocused. And he realized that since a few months ago, Akaashi had become a stranger to him.</p><p>Well. Maybe not completely.</p><p>
  <em>"I'm fine, Koutarou."</em>
</p><p>Akaashi still called him by his first name. That had to mean something, right?</p><p> </p><p>Bokuto was currently living in a small mansion outside Tokyo. The former <em>oyabun</em> had given him the keys, saying he wouldn't need that house anymore. That man saw Bo as a son, considering he never had his own children. The younger man was lucky to be so recognized by someone so powerful, but now, after years has passed and he'd been suddenly burdened with maintaining the entire clan, he wasn't so sure. Bokuto missed the days when he would fool around with Akaashi in the lower, gang ranks back in their high school years. Komi and Konoha didn't join until a little later, and Kuroo and Kenma had been in the more business-oriented side of the clan, so for about a year, it was just the two of them with a few other gang members as they climbed the ranks. And now, here they were, in massive leadership positions, and possibly some of the youngest people to do so. Conveniently, most of the older leaders had died in what can only be described as the war a few years ago between their clan and a rival one- the one that was now being led by Kiyoomi Sakusa. And even more conveniently, Bokuto was appointed as the next <em>oyabun</em>, and presumably the same happened to Sakusa as well.</p><p>Bokuto had Akaashi become his second-in-command as his first lieutenant: his <em>wakagashira</em>.</p><p>Kuroo as their second lieutenant- their <em>shategashira</em>- to help carry out orders and operations.</p><p>Kenma as his <em>saiko-komon</em> to essentially be Bokuto's finance advisor and the one to oversee the business branch.</p><p>Then Konoha as an overhead of a small region nearby.</p><p>And Komi to generally serve the big four as anything they required, whether it be a bodyguard, a leader to the lower-ranked, or an operation manager.</p><p>Since all six of them had known each other for so long- even playing volleyball with one another back in high school- they already had the established trust between each other (and not to mention the skill,) needed to run the clan. Maybe not the experience, though. Bokuto worried constantly that the other clan leaders and his subordinates wouldn't respect him. Yet he and his crew hadn't managed to run into any trouble.</p><p>Not yet, at least.</p><p>Tensions were rising between the clans once again despite the peace agreement he and Sakusa had established as new oyabuns. The alleged spy in their ranks was only the half of it. Before then, Sakusa's men were already encroaching on their territory, Bokuto's men retaliated by doing the same. Bokuto knew he shouldn't have taken any of the bait Sakusa threw at him, but he was also powerless. If he didn't do anything, he'd be seen as too soft. Again. But if he did, he was only insinuating the issue further. There was no winning in this situation. Bokuto figured he'd soon have to prepare for another clan war.</p><p>"Koutarou."</p><p>Bokuto blinked and turned his head to Akaashi, who was already looking back with impossibly beautiful moonlit blue eyes. "Yeah?"</p><p>Akaashi nodded outside the window. "We've arrived."</p><p>Ah. So they had. Bokuto didn't even notice the limo had stopped. "...Right."</p><p><span class="Apple-converted-space"><br/>
 </span>Once inside, Bokuto made sure to lock the door behind him and carefully take a quick gaze around the entrance hall to make sure everything was still as he left it. He breathed a sigh of relief when he found that everything seemed untouched. They were safe. Most likely, at least.</p><p>He watched as Akaashi headed to the upstairs bathroom, already knowing where to go even though it'd been months since he'd last stayed the night.</p><p>Bokuto shook away the memory of that last thing. There was no time to be thinking about things like that anymore. He had to focus, after all. There was business to think about and his men to worry about.</p><p>But then the memory of that one night, of Akaashi's eyes reflecting the light from his bedroom window came back to him like an unwelcome surge of water that refused to be held back by a levee. The jumpy feeling in his stomach as Akaashi combed his fingers through his silver and black hair. The millions of words they exchanged that night and the quiet bursts of laughter that Bokuto managed to ease from the stoic Akaashi.</p><p>All of it made Bokuto feel nostalgic and warm for one moment, but cold and bitter the next. He couldn't help but think: <em>god, what happened to us?</em></p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I decided to also publish this AU story individually as well as here, just to make it easier for me to find and because it’ll most likely be one of my more developed stories. if you liked this AU story, be sure to swing by the work titled just “Gunmetal Blue” by lilhoney (me!) and leave a kudos!</p><p>I may also do the same thing for later Fics under this collection, we’ll just have to see, but some so far like the Coma AU and the Soft Domestic Fic I think I’ll just keep here for now! </p><p>Thank you guys for all your support!<br/>I’ll TRY to update this before the end of December??</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Gunmetal Blue (Yakuza AU Pt 2)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Akaashi lets his walls down once more.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>hi guys!! miss me?? anyways, i absolutely ADORE this AU and enjoy writing it! hope you enjoy this next chapter, it’ll be subject to editing in the coming days!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Thankfully, he couldn't have any more time to longingly reflect on distant memories. He heard Akaashi curse under his breath from inside the bathroom, his voice unusually strained. It was a bit of a rare occurrence, so Bokuto went up and lightly pushed at the slightly open door to check up on Akaashi.</p><p>The younger man was sitting on the countertop, his deeply stained handkerchief already abandoned near the sink. Akaashi looked up, but Bokuto couldn't tell whether or not he cared to see him. "...everything okay?" Bokuto managed to ask somewhat cheerfully.</p><p>Akaashi pressed his lips together and pulled at his stained shirt sleeves, which were still rolled up past his elbows. "I'm fine."</p><p>He continued to fumble trying to pull the dress shirt sleeves back down. It was a painful sight to see someone who was typically so aloof to slowly lose it. In truth, maybe it had already been happening for years, but only became evident now.</p><p>Bokuto allowed himself in. Gently, he reached out a hand towards Akaashi's arm, knowing the latter flinched easily. "Here. Let me."</p><p>His <em>wakagashira</em> hesitated. Ultimately, though, Bokuto's soft, steady voice was enough to coax Akaashi into complying. He lifted his arm up to meet Bokuto's hands. The silver-and-black haired man took care to delicately roll the young man's sleeves back down, once again concealing Akaashi's defined forearms and further revealing the smattered blood across the shirt's light blue fabric. Bokuto decided not to ask what happened inside the warehouse. It was probably his business to know, but he could always ask Kuroo later. "I'll get you a spare set of clothes to sleep in after you take a shower, yeah?"</p><p>Akaashi only vaguely nodded in response.</p><p>Bokuto sighed and focused on the other sleeve once he was done with the right one. "I'll... lend you one of the guest rooms. You can stay as long as you'd like."</p><p>The younger man blinked at that and actually glanced up to meet his senior's golden eyes. Bokuto hated that he couldn't tell what he was thinking anymore. "Oh. Sure."</p><p>"You can sleep in my room, too." Bokuto offered a little too quickly. He froze as the realization of what he'd just said hit him like a ton of bricks. "Only if you want to, though. Just because... you've done it before, y'know? Only if you're more comfortable that way. You can still sleep in a guest room, too. If you want."</p><p>Akaashi shrugged and looked away. "Sure."</p><p>Bokuto finished rolling down the other sleeve, reached for the blood-stained handkerchief, and ran the corner under cold water. "Oh. I forgot to tell you. Kuroo said there's a few new members that wanna join." He said, changing the subject. Half out of embarrassment and half out of habit, just because he couldn't linger on one subject for very long in a conversation. He happened to just bounce from one to the other very often. "We'd have to screen them, right? Or do you think we shouldn't take new members anymore?"</p><p>Akaashi thought for a moment before responding. "We can hold off from initiating new members for now. We've gotten lower in numbers, but it's not worth the risk. If we get desperate, we can open the admission process again, but not at least for another few months."</p><p>Bokuto nodded in agreement. This was precisely why Akaashi was his right-hand man. "You're right. As always, Keiji." He said as he ran the damp handkerchief corner over the faint bloodstain still on Akaashi's cheek. The both of them had barely noticed it was still there. Surprisingly, the younger of the two didn't flinch at the sudden physical contact, but rather, he only paused momentarily at the tenderness of the gesture. Bokuto prevailed anyway. The entire interaction only lasted mere seconds, but to the two of them, it felt like years. "There." Bokuto whispered. He was left to stare at Akaashi's subtle handsome features, from the way his hair was always tousled but not too much so, how his hands looked strong but nimble, and the way his jawline curved, defined and to a point. As expected, though, Bo always found his eyes the most captivating. They looked almost black from far away, but up close, they shone a type of dark, sea blue with slight green undertones. Bokuto couldn't count the number of times he'd stared into those eyes, trying to decipher Akaashi's thoughts. At one point, he could, but now Akaashi was back to being an enigma.</p><p>"...What?" Akaashi finally filled the silence, breaking Bokuto's stare. The former looked away, but Bokuto still noticed with some satisfaction the nice tint of pink the tops of Akaashi's ears were turning.</p><p>Bokuto chuckled to himself. "Ah, nothing. You already know how much I always liked your eyes."</p><p>"At least you're always direct." Akaashi sighed almost exasperatedly, with what could only be described as a small, fond smile. The type that forces its way into your face, whether you realize it not, and whether you like it or not. Bo met Akaashi's gaze after rinsing the handkerchief and found the younger man already staring back at him. The latter parted his lips slightly as if about to say something, but seemed to decide against it and quickly glanced away. "...I'll be taking that shower, then."</p><p>Bokuto blinked and turned towards the door to hide his disappointment. "Right. Yeah, I'll get you those clothes, then."</p><p>"Okay."</p><p> </p><p>That night, Akaashi chose not to stay in one of the guest rooms. Not only was Bokuto internally screaming at the thought of sharing a bed with Akaashi Keiji again, but Akaashi also looked breathtaking in the clothes Bokuto let him borrow. They only consisted of a t-shirt and some sweatpants, but seeing how the shirt loosely hung over his shoulders and how the sweatpants continually sagged on Akaashi's slim waist made Bokuto's heart swell.</p><p>"Goodnight," Akaashi said as he switched off the lights and crawled under the covers on the other side of the bed from Bokuto, his hair still slightly damp from the shower.</p><p>"'Night." Bokuto responded softly, trying not to stare.</p><p>Akaashi laid facing Bokuto and only made eye contact with him for a fraction of a second before looking away from him once more. A thousand wordless emotions had been exchanged between the two in that fraction of a second. Bokuto had barely ever felt so close, yet so far from someone.</p><p>"Keiji?"</p><p>"Yes?"</p><p>Bokuto opened his mouth, so many thoughts swimming through his head, but no way to say any of them. He shook his head to himself and sighed. "I... nevermind. I'll let you sleep now."</p><p>Akaashi blinked, and for a moment, it was almost like he was disappointed. But Bokuto figured that must've just been his imagination. "Ah. Okay."</p><p>Bokuto rolled over in bed so he could stare out the window instead of thinking about staring at Akaashi instead. He couldn't help but let the memories of their last night together like this flood back to him once more, filling him with both a certain sense of warmth... and loss.</p><p>That night, they'd gone out drinking together, just the two of them, and Akaashi had let down his walls for once. Just for Bokuto. And Bokuto had talked to him about everything and anything, but mostly about their old days in high school. And when a flustered and reddened Bokuto asked Akaashi to spend the night at his house, Akaashi had agreed. And after a few, glorious hours of finally releasing the unrelenting, unyielding desire Bokuto had for Akaashi after all those years, the two laid facing each other, fingers intertwined, voices gentle. Bokuto couldn't help but remember how Akaashi's lips felt against his neck, or how his hands hungrily roamed across Bokuto's bare back. Couldn't help but remember the way Akaashi breathed Bokuto's name as he dug his nails into his skin, how it seemed like they were seeing each other for the first time.</p><p>How Akaashi held Bokuto in his arms afterward and peppered kisses along his jaw and hairline. The way they were able to talk with such ease, and how Bokuto fell in love with Akaashi even more as he noticed the subtle gleam in the other's eyes.</p><p>There was a chance him and Akaashi couldn't restore their relationship to what it once was. And it absolutely killed him inside.</p><p>Sometimes, Bokuto wanted to scream and yell at Akaashi, asking<em> "why?"</em></p><p>
  <em>"Was I not good enough?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Could I have done something different?"</em>
</p><p><em>"Why can't you just come back to me?"</em> </p><p>And yet, he knew he could never bring himself to raise his voice that way at his wakagashira, despite how close they'd always been. He knew how sensitive Akaashi could be, deep down. And he knew that there was probably nothing to be done. That didn't feel okay with him, but he feels like he loves Akaashi enough to let him go. He knew it would have to happen eventually, but he didn't expect it to be so soon.</p><p>Sighing once again to himself, Bokuto finally closed his eyes and felt himself drift into a deep sleep, but then he heard a painfully familiar sound.</p><p>Across the bed, he heard the quiet, desperately restrained crying of his beloved, then the sound of skin sliding across skin as he tried to squeeze a hand over his own mouth. Bokuto gently turned to face Akaashi's back and how his shoulders trembled with soft sobs.</p><p>For a terrible moment, Bo considered that maybe it would be best if he left him alone. Akaashi hated being seen as weak. As vulnerable. But Bokuto knew. He'd let him in once, he had to let him in once more. Bokuto reached an arm to the other side of the bed, letting his knuckles graze the younger man's shoulder. "Keiji?"</p><p>Despite the slow movement, Akaashi still flinched, and it made Bokuto grimace. He hated doing that to him. "Keiji..."</p><p>Akaashi stiffened. No answer.</p><p>"Keiji, look at me." Bokuto whispered, fighting off the shake in his voice.</p><p>Akaashi reluctantly turned in bed to face the older man, whose expression softened at the sight of tears running down Akaashi's face, how his usually steady hands started to shake, and how his eyes gave way to something that resembled guilt... perhaps even dread. Bokuto parted his lips to speak, but Akaashi beat him to it with five words he never thought he'd hear him say. "Could you hold me...? Please."</p><p>Akaashi's voice had been incredibly hollow, his words no longer carrying the conviction they would during the day and when he was commanding their subordinates. For just one small, painful moment, he was letting his walls down again. Bokuto held Akaashi's face in one hand and pulled him close with the other. "I've got you," Bo pressed a tender kiss into Akaashi's hair and realized with delight that he didn't flinch this time. "I've got you." He repeated, letting Akaashi cry into his chest, his quiet sobbing echoing through the empty bedroom and making Bokuto's heart cry along with him.</p><p>"He was begging for his life, Koutarou." Akaashi leaned against Bokuto's chest, trying to calm himself. "He... He was..." He took a quivering breath. "He was just a kid."</p><p>Bokuto held him closer. And tried to ignore how that subordinate in particular reminded him of himself when he was eighteen, too. "You didn't do anything wrong." He said soothingly. He pressed another kiss against Akaashi's temple, and to his relief, Akaashi's cries quieted for a moment. "He could've hurt us. Our livelihood. We were doing what was best for the clan."</p><p>The young <em>wakagashira</em> bit his lip, considering carefully what he needed to say. "He was just following orders, Kou. And I..." Akaashi shook his head against the front of Bokuto's shirt. "I..."</p><p>He started crying harder, to which Bokuto held him closer, letting his body warmth envelop Akaashi. "I know, Keiji."</p><p>God, he'd known it all too well. The first time he'd ended up killing someone, he remembered Akaashi having to stroke his hair while he weeped into him for hours. And although Akaashi had tortured and killed before with no problem, Bokuto could see that this was much different. This hit too close to home.</p><p>Bokuto Koutarou and Akaashi Keiji hadn't been built for this life. None of them had. Yet now they had a responsibility to uphold it. Bokuto came to the realization that it was his fault Akaashi had to be so involved. He should've let him leave this life while he still could. He shouldn't have made Akaashi stay by making him his <em>wakagashira</em>. This was his fault, too.</p><p>He rested his chin atop Akaashi's head, breathing the smell of his conditioner in Akaashi's raven hair while the younger of the two let out all his pent-up shame and despair.</p><p>Bokuto stayed and held Akaashi so long that he'd fallen asleep while his face was still streaked with tears. Bo smiled softly to himself when he saw Akaashi had finally been at peace, dark eyelashes against his soft pale skin, sharp eyebrows no longer knit, his usual aloof expression traded for a heavenly one. Bokuto let his hand caress the other man's cheek in a light manner, careful not to wake him. And before he fell asleep, he kissed Akaashi on the forehead and only wished that they could stay like this forever.</p><p>When Bokuto woke that next morning, though, he found that Akaashi had left, his place in bed already cold.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>so i think i decided im going to update this fic AT LEAST once a month, with uploads on the third of every month and (depending on how far i get with writing) possibly one on the seventeenth of the same month as well! however, for now, it’ll be just the third! thank you guys so much for your support!! love yall!! see you next time!<br/>and remember to stay safe!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Gunmetal Blue (Yakuza AU Pt. 3)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Kuroo reflects on his past with Akaashi while nursing a drunk Bokuto.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>as promised, i finished the third part early and decided to post it :) hope you guys enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>"Does Keiji hate me?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"<em>Huh</em>?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span> Kuroo swiveled in his stool to face Bokuto, who, after only two drinks, was already slumped over on the bar, his face flushed. "Tch. I dunno." Kuroo answered helpfully as exhaled a puff of smoke from the cigar in his left hand. He swore not to both drink and smoke at the same time to Kenma, so he chose smoking for the night. "Didn't he sleep at your place last night?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span> Bo blinked confusedly under the dim lights of the lounge. The two of them had agreed to meet in a private one downtown so they could talk about anything they wanted. And also so no one knew that Bokuto Koutarou, the young and fearful yakuza <em>oyabun</em>, was a <em>massive</em> lightweight. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I mean, yes..." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well, he wouldn't sleep with someone he doesn't like, right?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span> Bokuto sat upright in his stool, nearly falling out of it, a vindicated expression on his face all the while. "We didn’t have sex last night!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span> Kuroo paused with his cigar halfway to his mouth. "Wait, you didn't?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No!" Bokuto shook his head so forcefully, Kuroo worried that it'd snap off. "You think that just because a handsome guy wants to stay over, I'd take advantage of him?!" </span>
</p><p>
  <span> Kuroo held a hand up in surrender. "Okay, okay. I just assumed... since you guys used to... y'know." </span>
</p><p>
  <span> Bokuto rested his head against the cool mahogany of the bar once more, seeming to deflate immediately. "Yeah... I know." </span>
</p><p>
  <span> Kuroo stared down at his best friend's drunk form before shrugging and filling his lungs with bitter smoke once more. Since they were in a private, thick-walled lounge above the nightclub they owned, it was one of the few indoor areas Kuroo knew of where it was allowed. "How long had you two been dating before...?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span> He asked as if he didn't already know the answer to that question. </span>
</p><p>
  <span> Bokuto laid his head on its side to face Kuroo's general direction. He didn't need Kuroo to finish his question to know what he was going to say. "Lil' more than two years." They'd broken up when Bokuto became the <em>oyabun</em> because they knew their relationship couldn't continue with him being under such scrutinization. But they still largely stayed close afterward, sometimes talking openly about old memories, exchanging fun banter, and sleeping over at each other's homes. It sometimes led to more, and sometimes didn't, and the two still carried on like it was normal. They might as well have still been dating, honestly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span> Kuroo patted Bo's spiky black-and-silver hair. "I don't think Akaashi could ever hate you, bro." He chuckled to himself, but not out of humor. "Besides, why would you even think something so ridiculous?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span> The silver-and-black haired man groaned under his breath, considering how much information was too much to tell Kuroo. It's not that he didn't trust his best friend and <em>shategashira</em>. He just seemed to know Akaashi was a bit of a difficult subject for the both of them. "Well... ever since... the incident..." </span>
</p><p>
  <span> Kuroo nodded, inhaling another breath of smoke to shake off his immediate guttural reaction. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"well, he's been... different. More distant." Bo's white eyebrows knitted together over his hazy, drunken gaze. "And even colder than usual. I dunno, it's almost like he's a whole different person." </span>
</p><p>
  <span> In response, his best friend shrugged and examined the patterns in the bar's wood, thinking quietly to himself for a bit before answering. "I mean... maybe he needs some space. He <em>did</em> almost die... y'know, back there." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Ah. Yeah, maybe that's it." Bokuto pouted, the expression reminding Kuroo of their high school years, when he'd made the same face after spiking a volleyball just outside of the court lines. "But I wish he'd talk to me about it instead of just avoiding me all the time." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh... yeah, I don't blame ya. But I've also heard cases of people completely changing after they've gone through something like that. They can sort of lose who they were before, you know." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No, that can't be it..." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span> Bokuto blinked a few times, and Kuroo could tell he was remembering something. That'd be one of the only reasons he'd be thinking so deeply on this. Maybe more had occurred between the two of them than he'd let on. Kuroo was curious, of course, but knew that when it mattered, Bokuto wouldn't crack under pressure. At least, not anymore. </span>
</p><p>
  <span> Bo responded hesitantly. "Well... he treats me differently and all, but he's still there, you know? He... still calls me Koutarou, and he... he still looks at me the same way." He absentmindedly ran a hand over his knee while staring at the ice slowly melt in his empty glass. "Sometimes, anyway." </span>
</p><p>
  <span> Yeah. Kuroo took another drag of his cigar, already knowing how heavily he was gonna be leaning on it to feel better tonight. His body felt unusually weighted. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey, Kuroo?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, boss?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What happened inside the warehouse?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span> Kuroo paused, reluctant. It was ludicrous to hide information from your higher-up. That was one of the first lessons he'd learned when he began. "Well... why couldn't you ask 'Kaashi himself?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span> The other man half-groaned and half-whined in reply. "Don't wanna." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"He's your <em>wakagashira</em>, isn't he? It's not like he'd hide that from you."</span>
</p><p>
  <span> Bokuto rested his head on its side so that he could directly look at Kuroo, his amber eyes now unusually sober. It made Kuroo shift uncomfortably in his stool. "But you're also here now, aren't you? Why can't <em>you</em> just tell me?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span> Kuroo sighed and stared at the ceiling as he tried to formulate a reply. It was brutal, being in there with only Akaashi and the alleged spy. He'd never seen the younger man so... unhinged. "He- I told you, he got him to talk." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kuroo..." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"That's all there is." Kuroo added hastily. "It was standard procedure. Akaashi pulled some of the guy's nails off, plied out a few teeth, broke a few bones here and there... stuff like that." </span>
</p><p>
  <span> The group didn't have time to use slower, psychological methods of interrogation, even if they were usually more effective. If that were the case, it would've been Kenma who handled it. But that night, they had to get the information and get rid of the suspect as soon as possible, so it was up to Akaashi. After all, he had a little more... expertise in the methods of physical torture compared the rest of the crew. Kuroo still remembered how he got chills when he saw Akaashi snap on his leather gloves with a cold intent to inflict pain in his eyes. How Akaashi barely ever flinched when his victim screamed in pure, white-hot agony. How Akaashi meticulously and slowly performed every procedure to induce the most pain. It was the stuff of nightmares. </span>
</p><p>
  <span> But Kuroo remembered the way Akaashi's hands shook, too, when he finally stood and brushed the dust off his knees. How Akaashi's face almost showed a shadow of remorse. It was like a hint of the kinder, more innocent boy he once was came pouring through the cracks of his cold façade. </span>
</p><p>
  <span> The image of the sheer amount of blood on Akaashi's shirt came back to Bokuto immediately. Akaashi had never had that much blood on him after doing the "standard procedure."</span>
</p><p>
  <span> Obviously, there was something missing from that story that Kuroo wasn't telling Bokuto. The latter knew that. And the former knew he knew that. Their eyes refused to meet. </span>
</p><p>
  <span> After a brief moment, Bokuto sighed, his shoulders easing as he did. He opened his mouth to say something, thought against it, then opened it again. "Hey... while you and Keiji were a thing... did he ever... give you the cold shoulder when he was upset?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span> Kuroo pressed his lips together. Of course he'd change the subject out of nowhere. A part of him was thankful they didn't have to talk about that night at the warehouse anymore. Another was very much not. When Kuroo agreed to hang out with Bokuto tonight, he didn't think that his personal past with Akaashi would come up. Sure, the two were still good friends, but this was a bit of a sore subject Bokuto and Kuroo wordlessly agreed to never talk about again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span> <em>The alcohol must've made him loose-lipped</em>, Kuroo realized. "How should I know?" He tried to say lightheartedly. "You dated him longer than I did." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Only by, like, what, a few months?" Bokuto's words were already beginning to slur slightly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shouldn't you still know by now how Akaashi acts when he's upset?" Kuroo mumbled. He blinked in realization at how he just talked to his <em>boss. </em>He didn't know why he was being so bitter. </span>
</p><p>
  <span> Bokuto had gotten Akaashi fair and square. He'd known him longer and spent more time with him and everything. Besides, Kuroo had Kenma now. And Kuroo and Bokuto were best friends. And him and Akaashi were...</span>
</p><p>
  <span> Regardless, he was supposed to be happy now. </span>
</p><p>
  <span> Right? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I..." Bokuto traced the rim of his whiskey glass with a finger, and Kuroo swore he could see the dusty cogs turning in his head. In a loving way, of course. "I should. I know that. But... now that I'm looking back... maybe it was always more about me when we were together, you know?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span> <em>He admits it?</em> Kuroo cocked a brow at Bokuto, almost unaware he would ever come to such a conclusion on his own. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"And..." Bo's eyes cleared for a moment with a frightening soberness. "I regret it so much, man. I should've cherished him more while I still could. I... I get it. I treated him well, but I never took the time to really listen, you know? And now..." He sniffled. </span>
</p><p>
  <span> Kuroo sighed heavily and patted his friend on the back, knowing that if a drunk Bokuto Koutarou was hard to handle, a crying one was even worse. And one that was both drunk and crying? Inconsolable. You'd just have to pray to whatever god you believed in that he'd get over it eventually. Maybe even all of them. "Man... you really are a mess, you know that, Bo?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span> No response. </span>
</p><p>
  <span> Kuroo looked away, thinking for a moment. He took a puff of his cigar. Then another, out of stress. Finally, he decided on what he was going to say. He sighed and shook his head. "Akaashi usually wasn't the passive aggressive type. If something was bothering him, whether it was about me or himself, he would tell me. Though he had a hard time talking about himself and his problems because he thought it felt... selfish." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto chuckled bitterly to himself as he ran a hand through his hair. "Yeah, that sounds about right. Guess he's always been like that." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah..." Kuroo rubbed the back of his neck. He really needed a drink right about now. It was a good thing Bokuto was drunk off his ass, because that meant it was only Kuroo who was uncomfortable here. </span>
</p><p>
  <span> The truth was, it's not that Kuroo resented Bokuto at all. He loved him like the brother he never had. And he certainly never felt any towards Akaashi. But there was something about seeing them together, about seeing Akaashi laugh at Bokuto's antics the same way he used to laugh at Kuroo's that made him feel a little empty. </span>
</p><p>
  <span> He had Kenma now, though. He had for about two months now. And his company helped. The best thing about dating a childhood best friend was that you didn't have to go through that dreaded talking phase, you could just jump right into romantic intimacy and there was about a 75% chance things wouldn't be painfully awkward. Kuroo liked that. He liked Kenma. He liked being with him. But he had to admit that he liked being with Akaashi, too. And maybe he still missed him. Just a little bit. </span>
</p><p>
  <span> While driving Bokuto home, he thought back on when he first met Akaashi at a volleyball training camp. He'd been awestruck by Fukurodani's new first-year setter. Not only was his skill consistent, but he was damn gorgeous, too. He remembers making Bokuto introduce him to Akaashi and feeling electricity and raw heat surge up his arm when Akaashi shook hands with him. He remembers Akaashi's discreet, cheeky smirk as he managed a setter dump on him. The smell of sweat, the yells echoing throughout the gym, the late nights practicing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span> And then he remembers him and Akaashi feverishly making out in the equipment closet on their last day, how it felt to let his fingers reach up his <em>kouhai's</em> shirt, the way he realized with some difficulty that Akaashi was a better kisser than him, how his heart beat so hard and fast, he was afraid people could hear it from outside. They decided to begin dating a few weeks afterward.</span>
</p><p>
  <span> <em>And yet...</em></span>
</p><p>
  <span> Kuroo glanced over again at the passenger seat, at how Bokuto was slumped against the window, already knocked out cold. Kuroo cussed under his breath, relishing in how the lingering, rich coating of smoke in his throat made his voice deeper. He couldn't keep looking back on the past like this. It wasn't fair to Bokuto. Or Akaashi. Or Kenma. Not even himself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span> He'd been selfish, too, he admitted it. They were all supposed to be friends now. He was supposed to forget all about it. Kuroo still watched as he sped past the lights of the city, though, and wondered, how could I? </span>
</p><p>
  <span> He had been Akaashi's first kiss.</span>
</p><p>
  <span> The first person Akaashi had dated. </span>
</p><p>
  <span> The first person Akaashi had made love with. </span>
</p><p>
  <span> The first person to make Akaashi genuinely laugh. </span>
</p><p>
  <span> Kuroo had been a number of firsts for Akaashi. </span>
</p><p>
  <span> But Kuroo also knew, deep down, that he would never be Akaashi's first love.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>thank you so much for reading! next chapter will be up sometime next month, probably on the 17th!<br/>love y'all! stay safe!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Gunmetal Blue (Yakuza AU Pt. 4)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Kuroo returns home to Kenma and talks with some long-time friends.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i'll edit it later, i swear !!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After dropping off that unreasonably heavy owl bastard at home and tucking him in for the night, Kuroo drove back towards his and Kenma's apartment in the city. While weaving his way through the streets of Tokyo, he let his eyes drift towards the illuminated time on the dashboard. </p><p>12:37 am.</p><p> <em>Ah, shit.</em> He thought. He had to be up early tomorrow to check up on his subordinates in West Tokyo. Bokuto had asked him to do so the week before, since that area was closest to Sakusa's turf. And they've been pushing the bounds for a while now. Kuroo wondered how much longer they could last in this state of begrudging peace until they broke out once more into an all-out war. There wasn't much else they could do. Surely Bokuto knew they couldn't keep going on like this, either. He was much more of a pacifist, though. It's not like he was the one who was going to incite conflict here. They had too much to lose. </p><p> It was Sakusa they had to be careful about. One more small tip in the scales, and everything they'd worked so hard to preserve could come crumbling down in an instant. </p><p> Kuroo unlocked the apartment door and found Kenma in front of their huge widescreen, playing some first person shooter that Kuroo assumed to be the latest one Kenma had raved to him about the other day. <em>Good</em>, Kuroo thought to himself. He's keeping up his instincts. Maybe not in the most ideal way, but he's doing it nonetheless. </p><p> Kenma briefly glanced behind the couch at the sound of keys clinking. "Hey." </p><p>"Hey. You eat yet?" </p><p>"Yeah. Fukunaga and Tora came by. Fukunaga made risotto." </p><p> Kuroo sighed in relief. Kenma was always stubborn about eating, but it seemed that when Fukunaga was the one cooking, he was always willing. "Cool. When did they le-"</p><p> He was interrupted by the sound of a metal bowl clanging in the kitchen, followed by the telltale sound of Taketora cussing under his breath while Fukunaga chuckled. Ah. So they never left. Kuroo popped his head into the next room. "Oi. What's goin' on in here?" </p><p> At least a cup of flour was scattered across the black granite countertops and another cup all over Fukunaga and Tora's clothes. Both of their heads of black hair now looked more like powdered wigs. "We're making mango pudding." Fukunaga told Kuroo in his usual deadpan way. </p><p>"With... flour?" </p><p> Fukunaga and Taketora exchanged glances. The latter sheepishly scratched his head. "Oh, yeah. Guess we didn't even need flour, huh?" </p><p>"That's what I said, but you took it out and made a mess anyway~" Fukunaga sing-songed, his lips already threatening to curve into a smug grin. </p><p>"Sh-Shut up!" </p><p> Kuroo looked at the both of them, then at the mess, and sighed as he ran a hand through his spiky hair. I'm too old for this, he thought. "Okay, just... clean up when you're done. Use the guest bedroom tonight if you guys need it." </p><p> His two former teammates nodded at him before going back to bickering over whose fault the mess was in the first place. From what Kuroo had seen, it was Taketora's fault, but maybe that's just because Fukunaga always looked innocent enough to where nothing was ever his fault. Almost like Kenma. <em>Speaking of Kenma...</em></p><p> Kuroo drifted back towards the living room, where his partner continued to concentrate on his game. "You looked over the finance reports from the last quarter, right?" Kuroo asked as he plopped down next to him on the leather couch. Kenma barely even looked up. Kuroo never took something like that with offense, though. He’d known Kenma long enough to know that he was just in the zone. Despite what people may think, it’s not like he tries to ignore people, it mostly just happens to be that way. </p><p>"Yeah. You should probably know that two shipments have gone missing in the past three months. They weren't too big, though, so I wouldn't worry about it, but it's definitely something to keep in mind." </p><p> Kuroo worked at his bottom lip as Fukunaga and Taketora continued to nonchalantly bicker in the room over. He didn't want to insinuate anything- not until he knew more, at least- but he figured it may have been possible that Sakusa's clan was behind that. Atsumu Miya was Sakusa's *wakagashira now (for reasons Kuroo couldn't fathom), and intercepting shipments sounded exactly like something he'd come up with. <em>Those damned Golden Foxes...</em> "What else?" Kuroo was almost afraid to ask, but he still had to help maintain the connection between the business and action sides. </p><p>"Our profits from the nightclubs and exchange through the city have also gone down by about 7%." Kenma continued without a hitch. The best thing about him being the financial advisor was that he could remember everything, even minute details, and recite it word for word to his superiors. His golden eyes met Kuroo's own only for a split second before darting back to the illuminated screen in front of them. "Otherwise, everything else seems pretty standard. Personally, though, it'd probably be best to start increasing foreign and domestic shipments." </p><p> Kuroo cocked a brow. "Really? Why?" </p><p> Kenma pressed pause on his game. Kuroo froze, his eyes widening. </p><p>So this was serious. </p><p> The younger man sighed as he started to grimace. For a moment, he didn't speak. And when he did, his words surprised Kuroo even more. "There's a clan war brewing. When it happens, we might not have as much access to trade and... stuff." </p><p>"But Kenma," Kuroo said as he leaned into his partner. "I thought you said we could avoid it happening altogether if we were careful. You didn't want war, either." </p><p>"I didn't." Kenma admitted as he unconsciously stroked the other's head. Kuroo's scalp tingled with goosebumps as he did so. Kuroo felt the stress of the day seem to flow out of him in waves as the sensation of Kenma’s light touch filled him with a certain warmth. "But at this point, Sakusa's men keep pushing us, unprovoked. They want war, Tetsurou, and I don't think they're gonna stop until we give it to them."</p><p>"No.” Kuroo responded immediately. “There has to be another way. We can't go through that again." Kuroo's voice seemed much more hoarse than he intended. But could he help it? The skirmishes away from the public eye were more deadly than one would think. The shootouts at trading points. The ambushes. The needlessly violent, repetitive actions from both sides that demanded the other to surrender and give them what they wanted. They'd already lost so many last time. </p><p>Tatsuki Washio.</p><p>Yamato Sarukui.</p><p>Shuichi Anahori. </p><p>
  <em> ...Morisuke Yaku. </em>
</p><p> They all got killed. </p><p> And for what? </p><p> Nothing.</p><p> Absolutely nothing. </p><p> They were so young, and they, along with so many others, died fighting a war that they never wanted. </p><p> Kuroo couldn't do that to his own men. Just because Sakusa wanted war, that didn't mean they had to play into his hands. "There has to be another way." Kuroo repeated, his deep voice trembling slightly. Every loss, even though it's been years, still haunts him. And he knew that if they waged war now, he would only cause other people to feel the exact same. He wouldn't have wished that type of pain on anybody. </p><p>"I don't think there is anymore." Kenma replied softly. He hugged his lover closer, knowing the same pain as his own. He, too, saw them in his dreams. He, too, remembered Yaku's dying breath. And the promise they couldn't fulfill. "We can always try negotiations, but... I can't imagine Sakusa even agreeing to that." </p><p> Kuroo hated to admit he was right. Either way, there was something to lose. He laughed without humor, the raw and bitter sound escaping his throat in low bursts. "Man... I hate this." </p><p> Kenma nodded solemnly in agreement. For a while, the two simply held each other, with only the voices of their former teammates in the kitchen to fill the hollow silence. Kuroo was now sorta glad they came. </p><p>He'd missed them. </p><p> He couldn't keep in contact with most of his old friends or family members anymore since becoming <em>shategashira.</em> It put them in danger. But since Fukunaga used to be a Silver Lynx, too, he's an exception. He was good at what he did. Level-headed. Agile. Even strict when he needed to be. Taketora also knew about the whole business because of Fukunaga.</p><p> He was actually the one who begged Fukunaga to quit while he still could. </p><p> So they were the only two people from Kenma and Kuroo's past who knew and weren't in the yakuza themselves. But they were, of course, smart enough not to tell anyone. Kuroo had to admit it was nice to have third opinions on things. He'd ask them what he should do now, but... it was pretty much out of his hands now, anyways.  </p><p> The younger man next to him tilted his head to face him. "Whatever happens, just..." A slight blush crept across his cheeks. Kuroo smiled a little at the cute sight. It was almost as if his day just got a hundred times better. "...just be careful. Okay?" </p><p> Kuroo leaned forward to place a quick kiss on the other's forehead. "I will." He murmured. </p><p> Kenma shifted his eyes back towards the television and picked his controller up once more to unpause. "...good." </p><p> Kuroo felt his heart lift, if only a bit. He still found it endearing that Kenma had trouble expressing tender emotions. Luckily, he didn't. And that more than made up for the gap there. "Love you." He startled both himself and Kenma with how easily he was able to say it. Especially himself, though. </p><p> Kenma started blushing even more. He didn't dare turn his head over to look at Kuroo. He couldn't lose the faint bit of concentration he still had left. "I... love you... too." He said reluctantly, his voice only slightly above a whisper. Kuroo opened his mouth to be even sappier, but was interrupted. </p><p>"Gross!" Taketora exclaimed as he and Fukunaga filed out of the kitchen. "Get a room, you two!" </p><p> Kuroo turned back to see that the pair had luckily been able to dust off most of the flour from themselves. "Oh shaddup, Tora, you're the last person I'd wanna hear that from."</p><p> Kenma glanced over his shoulder briefly, his eyes narrowed. "Aren't you and Fukunaga literally engaged?" </p><p>"That's not the point," The two answered at the same time, but at vastly different volumes. Tora was loud and beet-red while Fukunaga simply held up a hand as if to object in the small voice that he always used. </p><p> Kuroo blinked a few times to process what was just said. By Kenma, that is. "Wait. You guys are engaged? What? Congrats! Since when?" </p><p> Tora looked to the ground, face flushed even further as Fukunaga, unfazed as ever, took the former's hand in a gesture that looked like second nature, even to Kuroo. How did Kuroo not notice the silver ring on Fukunaga's hand earlier? "Hm..." Fukunaga tapped his chin with his free hand, deep in thought. "Since... a week ago? Two? That sounds right, right, Tora?" He snickered to himself at his unintended repetition. </p><p> The man next to him let his lips curl into a begrudging smile, probably seeing the event unfold all over again in his mind. "Yeah. That's right." He squeezed the slightly taller man's hand in affirmation. Fukunaga grinned slightly in response. Which, in his case, meant he was ecstatic. </p><p> Kuroo couldn't help but stare at how their hands slotted together, fingers intertwined, palms pressed together. How Tora visibly softened after the second mention of his engagement to Fukunaga. The way they looked at each other in simple, adoring gazes, even after so many years being together. He wasn't sure how he felt upon the sight, but decided from the uneasy toss of his stomach and the sudden dryness of his throat that it wasn't good. </p><p> He wasn't... jealous of their relationship, was he? </p><p>"When's the wedding? You guys having a traditional one, or...?" Kenma questioned, eyes still diligently trained on the screen in front of him. Kuroo was grateful for the distraction from his own thoughts. </p><p> Taketora glanced at Fukunaga. The two exchanged some words telepathically. After a few moments, Fukunaga ended up answering for the both of them again. "We're not sure yet. It's probably gonna be in the Spring, when the weather's not too hot or cold... and Tora's thinking of doing a beachside ceremony." Huh. Kuroo never took Taketora for the romantic type. Looks like he was still learning new things everyday. "In case it wasn't already clear, you two are invited, by the way. Also, there's mango pudding in the fridge now. It’ll be chilling overnight." Fukunaga added nonchalantly. </p><p>"Thanks." Kenma and Kuroo responded simultaneously. </p><p>"But you guys better not bring any of that yakuza shit with you, okay?" Tora, seeming to have found his voice again, gave Kenma and Kuroo a look. They all knew how cautious he was about these things. Fukunaga had almost gotten killed in that line of work more times than he himself could count. "I swear, if some rival clan or whatever comes barging in, guns blazing, I'm gonna kick your asses before I kick theirs." </p><p> Fukunaga's cat-like eyes flickered with faint concern as he looked at Tora. He briefly squeezed the other man's hand. "Remember what the doctor said about your blood pressure." </p><p>"I know, Shouhei." Taketora responded in a noticeably gentler tone. </p><p>"Just checking." </p><p>"Yeah, yeah, don't even worry about it. Why don't you two scram and actually get a room yourselves, yeah? While you're there, I'm sure Fukunaga can find a way to get you to relax, right?" Kuroo smirked slightly, so as to not piss off Tora further but still make sure he knew what he was implying. </p><p> Grumbling in mild agreement (and too tired to protest or be embarrassed further), Taketora made his way down the hall to the left, Fukunaga trailing closely behind. They'd stayed the night enough times to where they knew where to go. With that, every trace of them was gone for the time being. Kuroo figured they'd probably quiet down soon, too. Or get very, very loud, depending on where the evening led them. </p><p> Exhaling, Kuroo leaned back into the couch. Man, it was crazy to think that these guys from his high school volleyball team were now getting married. I mean, sure, it was normal at their age, but even so... Tora and Fukunaga? They were still immature baby first-years in Kuroo's mind. And now they were... adults. Who did... adult stuff. Like... y'know... taxes. </p><p> Kenma didn't even need to glance at Kuroo to know he felt at least slightly troubled. "It's a little crazy to think about, huh?" </p><p>"Yeah, no kidding..." Kuroo ran a hand over his face. "I mean, I would've never guessed they'd get together to begin with, and now they've been going steady for almost nine years, and now they're... I mean, they're actually gonna get married." </p><p>"It only seems like yesterday, Fukunaga was telling dumb jokes after practice while Tora offered to fight everyone. He was yelling all the time back then." </p><p> Kuroo had war flashbacks to the time a calm first year Fukunaga had to hold back a very fired-up first-year Taketora, who threatened to fight a referee who judged one of his spikes as out of bounds. To this day, Kuroo still isn't sure if he was being serious or not. "I'm actually kind of glad they got together." Kenma continued. "He stopped yelling as much when he got with Fukunaga." </p><p> Huh. Now that he thought about, yeah. It seemed they may have been a better fit than Kuroo had anticipated. He wondered if people looked at him and Kenma that way sometimes. </p><p>"You know, that's actually how he proposed." </p><p>"Who, Tora?" </p><p>"Yeah." Kenma replied as he maneuvered his character over some crates in what looked like a modern port setting. "Fukunaga told me he sort of just... shouted the proposal in Fukunaga's general direction while holding out the ring." </p><p> Yup. Kuroo could believe that. Man, what he would've given to be there. Taketora pulled that sort of thing all the time at training camps to the female managers before, but one could only imagine how much more flustered he was at that moment, in front of a man he actually knew and loved very well. "Wow. That does sound like him." Kuroo mused as he leaned against his partner once more. Not all the way, though. He didn't want to crush the poor thing while he was in the middle of a shootout. In moments like these, he wondered how he could ever doubt their bond. They'd gone back years, after all. It was expected. But in moments unlike this... Kuroo couldn't help but question things. </p><p> Kenma let himself drift into Kuroo, too, but only a bit. The game was getting pretty intense. Yet, Kenma still found it in himself to reminisce on the good old days. "Do you... remember that time Tora made a bet with Fukunaga that if he could eat more yakisoba buns in two minutes, then Fukunaga would have to buy him lunch for a week?" </p><p> In hindsight, maybe the entire team should've been clued into Taketora's crush earlier. </p><p>"And then Tora still lost, but he waged a rematch anyway?" Kuroo grinned. "Yeah, that was borderline tragic to witness." Kenma's expression grew... what Kuroo could only describe as sentimental. </p><p> He paused the game- even in the most crucial moment, which was so unlike him (two pauses in one day? Kuroo thought maybe Kenma had gotten sick after all)- and laid his head on Kuroo's shoulder, sighing. "Sometimes I kinda miss high school. I mean, it was shitty sometimes, but..." He trailed off, but Kuroo had a clue on what he would've said next. Because he felt the same way. </p><p> Kuroo chuckled, warm nostalgia filling his gut and creeping up his chest like a snake ensnaring its victim. When was the last time they were able to fool around like that? When was the last time they were all able to have fun, not having to worry about managing an entire yakuza clan? When was the last time they were that young? </p><p>"Me too." Kuroo whispered hoarsely. He let an arm wrap around the shoulders of his lover, who closed their eyes in return. </p><p> Kuroo's heart ached for a past he'd already lived and a future that could've been. Truly, all he'd known for the past few years was yearning and pain. </p><p> </p><p>When would it all end?</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>hope you guys enjoyed the new installment of Gunmetal Blue, can't promise when the next update is, but hopefully, it'll be sometime in march!<br/>thank you so much for reading!!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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